I went out last night with a few friends of mine and with our group was a newish guy who I have only seen once before.

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During the night I ended up having a little conversation with him, and it turns out that he has made the decision to become better with girls. Thats a step in the right direction.
He told me how for the last three months he has been aproaching women and sets in clubs and other venues and just getting rejected and blown out. I could still tell he was lacking a lot of confidence an this was the main reason he was getting all the rejection. He was thinking about just giving up and accepting that he wasn’t good with girls. This is the worst thing you can do!

It took me 2 years to get to where I am in being able to go out, talk to any girl I want, go and dance on the dancefloor by myself if noone wants to join me and most nights I’ll be able to hook up with a girl or at least get some phone numbers. Haha, yeah, I’m not an expert and I still get blown out and rejected, but it doesn’t affect me really, I just smile and move on to the next one:)

So you’re probably wondering why it doesn’t affect me?

Well, I’ve come to realise that other people have no power over you unless you let them have your power.
A girl rejecting your initial approach or attempt to talk to her doesn’t mean anything, because girls get hit on so many times, especially when they go out, they have their defences up. A lot of times an initial “rejection” is merely a little test, to see if it will scare you off just like all the other guys that approach her. If it shows that her reaction affected you, you have lost. Just pretend that you didn’t hear what she said or ignore it and carry on talking to her about something you enjoy.

Two very important things that make a world of difference are your body language and eye contact.

Don’t lean in towards a girl, I see it so many times, guys approaching a girl, she’s standing upright and relaxed, and the guy is leaning in while talking to her, it’s just showing neediness!

Secondly, eye-contact is what seperates the men from the boys. If you’re looking at a girl you find attractive, and she happens to look at you, don’t look away, keep that contact for a few moments, until she looks away, and then go up to her and approach her. If she holds the eye-contact for more than a moment, maybe even gives a little smile or a wink, you know she’s interested without even having said a word to her.

What does a woman really want?

The answer is pretty simple really, how to become the answer takes a bit more work. All a woman wants is a real man. Someone who is charming, confident, takes initiative, knows what he wants, is unaffected by her emotional crises, and can treat her like a princess.

One of the best explanations of man/woman relationships and the qualities of being a man is from the book “The way of the superior man” by David Deida.

 He states that when choosing a girl you want to have a relationship with, make sure you choose a girl who has chosen you first!The reason for this being that YOU are then her first choice, and not just some guy who is interesting and won her over. It doesn’t mean settle for the first girl who likes you, it just means, keep in mind that when you settle down with someone, make sure she is a girl who has selected you first.

 You may have heard this before, but women are emotional creatures.
We as men are logical, and reason with each other, coming up with logical ways to solve problems and confrontations weighing out the odds. The mistake men make is that they try to reason with women. Women follow their heart, and whatever emotion they feel.  “Change her mood, not her mind”, and that is why when she is in a bad mood, all you have to do is be positive and change her mood into a good one and she will be as happy as a kid with an icecream

From my experience, most women still like to be led. Although times have changed and women are much more independant, the traditional role of man/ woman still applies where it is the man who takes charge and takes the lead. Again, this does not mean tell her what to do all the time, because if you do that she is not going to enjoy that. A man makes decisions, whether they are right or wrong, and if they are wrong he learns from them. If you want to do something with your girl, then go and do it, if she doesn’t like it, she will tell you!

I hope this article has given you some insight and ideas and if this is the content and topic you are interested in and want to develop your knowledge and skills, get yourself a copy of “The way of the Superior Man” below.

The way of the Superior Man,Teaching Sessions – David Deida

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One Response to “The journey from shy to confident…don’t give up:)”

1. Glen Allsopp says:

   October 22, 2008 at 12:40 am

   Alex loves this David Deida dude, I’m not sure if I like his teachings to be honest. BTW who were you referring too at the start, I’m guessing ‘G’?

   Great post man, just gotta roll with the punches and move onto the next girl

   Reply