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Self-Improvement is (not) for losers! |
Have you ever heard anyone say that?
There are many people who have this prejudice against self improvement. They think that if you are not born with the skill, and if you need to sit and read books and have a mentor that you are a loser.I haven’t heard anything more absurd! Often the people who say this end up needing the most self improvement.
The message of this post for those of you who are uneasy or new to self-improvement, those of you who maybe share a similar idea that self-improvement is for losers but still want to try because deep down you know you want to get better.
None of us are a master at something from the day we are born. Some of us have natural talent, or are quicker to learn, but we all make mistakes and we all need to improve ourselves to some degree to get good at what we want to be good at. You can’t look at someone who is hugely successful and say “Aw, he was born with that talent, I’ll never be as good”. The people who are successful often don’t have much natural talent, but they have a huge passion and desire to succeed at what they do, and they read every book they can get their hands on to get better.
When you make the decision to improve at something, and start putting in the effort and work to get better, you will highly likely endure a lot of criticism and remarks or even insults from others attempting to sabotage your desire to improve. I’ve had it myself, some of my friends and even family members have called me a loser for reading self-help books and making the effort to improve. I have read tens of stories of others who also went through this and had to endure this kind of criticism.
One of the important things about self-improvement is to get a stong sense of identity. To realise that YOU make your own decisions, and that YOU stand behind your decisions 100%, whether they end up good or bad. This means you can evaluate someone’s comment for logical arguments against your decision and see if you are right, and it means that you do not let other people influence you to an enormous degree.
When you make the decision to improve yourself, to get better, and to do whatever it takes…you are not going to get blown off course by remarks or insults or criticism from others looking down on you. Steady and consistant work will lead to fantastic results over time. It may take you longer, and you may not be as good as the person who seems to be born with incredible talent, but if they don’t watch out, then you may just overtake them and be better than them.
I have an inspirational story to share with you:
“The Tortoise and the Hare quit the Rat Race
“What a dull,slow,heavy creature, this Tortoise!” saide the Hare.
“Not really dull,but slow and heavy, you are right,” said the Rat.
“And you Rat”, said the Hare, “Not so heavy,but just as dull. You are weaker than either of us.Nothing but an average rat. Average weight and average smarts. A thin bag of Rat-bones. No hard shell to protect you like the Tortoise has, and no racing muscles as big as mine!”
“Just because the Rat is average,” said the Tortoise, “doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of great things. It is up to him-to decide to do the things that make one great- just like someone as heavy as me.”
“I completely disagree” said the Hare.
“We’ll see,” said the Tortoise, “because I’ll run with both of you for a wager.”
“Done,” said the Hare, and they asked the Fox to be the judge.
The Tortoise, the Hare and the Rat debated so loudly that a crowd of rats gathered to see what all the fuss was about. Finally, the starting gun fired and the Hare scampered off far, far ahead.
The Rat, amazed at the speed with which the Hare hopped,simply stopped a few steps beyond the starting line. “What’s the use?” he said. “I can beat the Tortoise, but I would never catch that Hare! I have better things to do, like digging through garbage cans for an easy prize-one I can taste- a nice,leftover piece of meat or bread.”
Meanwhile, the Hare laid down midway in the course, and took a nap. “No worries,” the Hare said. “I bet I can catch up with the Tortoise when I please.” But the Tortoise kept jogging until he came nearer to the end of the course.
The Hare awoke too late to see the Tortoise inching towards the finish line. He scuttled as fast as he could but the Tortoise had already won by a scrawny neck’s length. The crowd of Rats were left scratching their heads with their hind paws. Where had the race gone so wrong?
Their own brother-Rat had barely left the starting gate, where he remained in silent hesitation. Then again, most Rats never manage to leave the starting gate of life in general.”
This story is an extract from a fantastic book on psychology and the human mind, called
The Tortoise and the Hare Quit the Rat Race by Dr Paul Dobransky.
I personally find this story highly motivational, and we can all relate ourselves to either the Hare,Tortoise or Rat. The Hare is talented but overestimates his abilities, with hard work could achieve wonders but without hard work will fail. The Tortoise is steady, not as talented or as fast, but he is determined and will keep going for as long as he has to. The Rat has potential but gives up before he even starts.
Aim to have the mindset and determination of the Tortoise and the skill and talent of the Hare. Then you will get further that you ever dreamed. Self-improvement is worthy of praise, never doubt that!
A question to the readers:
I have written a few posts now using stories and extracts from great books I have read. Do you enjoy these kind of posts or would you prefer only posts being completely written by me?
Have a Rockin’ day
Diggy
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Diggy, great post. Personally, I enjoy when you bring in other mediums to support your post. I’d never heard this story and really enjoyed it, so keep doing it even if everyone else disagrees with me.
seriously, though, I do think it helps your posts. it also shows who YOU are by showing us what you’re reading.
And who doesn’t like a good recommendation?
Off to twitter this!
.-= brian papa´s last blog ..Post-it Note #21 =-.
Heya Brian!
First comment:) Awesome!
Thanks for twittering and stopping by!
awwwwsomeness
really really liked this one. best i’ve read of yours actually methinks
such a cool concept for a post.
inspiring me fully.
fresh stuff soon.
gave it a stumble.
boomboom
memoryimprovementhq action in progress, swamped the funk in with varsity goodies.
fri night rishan ownage?
laters braav
.-= alex – unleash reality´s last blog ..Dancing Stories and Real Life =-.
Hey Bro:)
Cool glad enjoyed it so much!
Ima call Rishan and see what the plan is!
Thanks for the comment Sir!
Great post Diggy!
I personally think that those saying that if you need to read a book or have a mentor to learn something are the firsts who are unable to do something right.
.-= Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..The Zero Hour Workweek By Jonathan Mead =-.
Oscar!
Thanks for stopping by buddy!
What a great post as usual Diggy! I actually like all your posts…the one’s you write and the one’s that you combine other elements from books, etc.
Keep up the great work!
Cheers,
Dayne
.-= Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..12 Quick Ways to Build Self Esteem =-.
Hi Dayne!
Thanks for the kind words and letting me know your opinion, I appreciate it!
Enjoy the weekend
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Brian Papa. Brian Papa said: Self Improvement is (not) for Losers. Great post by @upgradereality http://bit.ly/FSsRW [...]
I really felt motivated after reading this, the trick is, u may run or jog or walk, but never stop walking… Cnosistency. But then how do u push yourself when u feel lazy? Sometimes I just don’t feel like working. (Pls reply).
Ask yourself how bad you really want something, or incorporate some self discipline.
.-= Glen Allsopp´s last blog ..5 Research-Proven Ways to Increase Happiness =-.
Hey Toto!
Whatsup man!
Welcome, glad to have you here!
I think a good way to push yourself when you feel lazy is to remind yourself why you are doing it in the first place. Whatever the reason is that you want to improve, print it out, or create some sort of reminder why you want to improve in the first place.
That should get you going again!
Cheers
I enjoy the book references!
I enjoyed this post, too. It’s true that many people are uncomfortable with the ideal of lifestyle design and self-improvement, and I think you hit the nail on the head by saying that it’s generally the ones who could use it most that say that. Largely they are the kind of people for whom life is a passive experience, and anything that takes a lot of effort is not worth doing. Sour grapes and all that.
Then again, I’ve know some really motivated people who do the same thing. What it comes down to at that point is that in general, people like to keep things consistent. If your best friend starts to change a lot, you get concerned. Who asked your opinion about whether or not they should change. They were great the way they were! Noooo! Friends and family will try to gently push you back toward where you were because change is scary, and they simply don’t realize that by doing this, they are really holding you back (or trying to) form achieving your full potential.
.-= Colin Wright´s last blog ..How to Throw a Shred Party =-.
Hey Colin!
That’s an awesome perspective on it!
I’ve never seen it that way. It’s true, people are very resistant to change, so in a way they might fear they will lose you or be less than you if you improve yourself!
Thanks for stopping by
I think it’s in part due to the myth of the natural. For some reason it is seen as being ‘better’ to be ‘naturally’ good at something than to be someone who worked to get where they are. It’s seen as weak somehow to be seen to but in effort, to practice, to admit you suck and to want to become better.
For example how often do you hear a sports commentator say: ‘Wow Tiger Woods, Roger Federer etc really showed the value of practice there’. In stead you hear, ‘He does it so effortlessly’, ‘He’s so gifted’ etc.
.-= NomadicNeil´s last blog ..I booked my ticket: Commitment and Consistency =-.
Hey Neil!
Welcome to UpgradeReality
Glad to have you here!
I agree with you, that is the attitude most people have. But practice makes perfect and perseverance gets you there!
Cheers!
Hey, Diggy! I loved this! As many times as I’ve read Aesop’s fable, I’d never heard this variation with the rat in the race. So, I’m gonna have to say… keep the bits and pieces you’re pulling in from other sources.
However, I am also a HUGE fan of personal stories. So, when you can apply these lessons to your own stories, it’s a win-win all around.
Awesome post!
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..Letters from Readers: Remembering Lost Loved Ones =-.
Lisis!
Hey there miss
Yay! So happy you enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing your opinion.
Yeah, this is one of my favourite motivational stories, it includes so many of the stereotypes of personalities in life
Enjoy the weekend!
Great story Diggy!
I agree that personal development sometimes is derided. I definitely understand where some of that cynicism comes from because so many people are selling fantasies and lies. “Get rich quick” “No, exercise weight-loss” “Effortless passive income.”
The good personal development gets lumped in with the bad personal development. We all want to improve but not many marketers tell us that it is going to be hard work. No one wants to buy “hard work.”
I think we see the same story often in the blogging world. People start a blog expecting to be rich in a few months. When the money doesn’t come pouring in they abandon it for the next easy riches scheme.
Great businesses are built by turtles. Rabbits get lucky sometimes. The rats are good because the turtles and rabbits need employees.
.-= John Bardos – JetSetCitizen´s last blog ..Stop Telling Me What to Do (The Normal Person’s Guide to Success) =-.
Heya John!!
Totally true, people get the impression self-help is a scam for others to profit from. Of course, this is not always the case, and in many instances the material you need to improve (books,videos etc) are available for free. Search the internet or make friends with someone who wants to help.
Cheers for stopping by!
Something I’ve always wondered is – why do people look down on personal development. I think we can all agree that anytime you tell someone about the tony robbins book you’re reading or about your goals etc. they will just roll their eyes. 99% of the time they will tell you “that personal development stuff doesn’t work”
I find this insane because for me their is nothing better than the thrill of facing your fears or pursuing a goal. Most people are crippled by fear and would rather stay in their comfort zone and look down on those trying to better themselves. It’s really sad but unfortunately this is the way the world is today.
.-= Faramarz – Anxious Candy´s last blog ..The ‘Daily Cup’ of Motivation: Why South Africa can be Greater than America =-.
Heya Faramarz!!
That is exactly it, most people accept their situation for what it is, and don’t think that they are able to change. This makes them the Rat in the story from the post, because they quit before they even start!
Thanks for stopping by
I agree with Lisis, I’ve never heard this version of the story and thought it was pretty cool.
Great post Diggy. I’ve definitely come under a lot of criticism along the way as well but as Russell Simmons says, just keep doing you!.
.-= Glen Allsopp´s last blog ..5 Research-Proven Ways to Increase Happiness =-.
Heya Glen!
Interesting version of it hey
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the kind words!
Cheers!
I like your stories. It relates to the topic at hand and is unique way of displaying profound information.
.-= jonathanfigaro´s last blog ..Benefits of How to Think Positive Doggy =-.
Hey Jonathan!
Thanks for the kind words:)
I’ll keep ‘em coming!
Have an awesome day!
Heya Diggy!
Enjoyed this post and like the references to books too, great stuff…always inspiring
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Diary of a new blogger =-.
Heya Jen!
Glad to hear you enjoyed it
Thanks for stopping by!!
Hey Diggy, I agree with everyone that this was a great post and I am also a big believer in self-help books/tapes. I think anytime we can learn from someone else or pick up new concepts of life, self improvement new ways to think about one’s life it can only add to make us a better person. People who do roll their eyes about Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer ect are people who are usually (my opinion) narrow minded and/or are not into looking inside their selves to fix or improve what they are working with. These are usually people who think that all of the self-help is hocus-pocus and are scared to open their eyes to somthing new. Bravo Diggy!! jj
.-= jj-momscashblog´s last blog ..What to do about Reported Attack Site message =-.
Heya JJ!!
Thanks for the kind words and glad that you enjoyed the post. I agree totally with your view
Cheers!
There is a hell of a lot of loser around if it were, I’ve discovered some of my high school friends are quite heavily into it now, although they all seem to have gone down “the secret” path, were as I’ve gone the lifestyle design direction.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Special Price for you Sir! Dual Pricing =-.
Heya Dan!
Thanks for stopping by!
Strange how people change from highschool, they often become totally different or they stay exactly the same.
Hey Diggy,
I prefer articles that have stories included in it. It allows the article to leave a deeper impression and I believe most people remember most when they learn through a story. Thanks for sharing this great story with us!
Cheers,
Vincent
.-= Vincent´s last blog ..Tony Robbins UPW In Singapore =-.
Hey Vincent!
Glad you enjoy the stories, thanks for letting me know!
You’re totally welcome
A balance of both would be perfect. You site an excerpt from a good book and elaborate it using you unique understanding. I’m sure your readers would want your interpretation on certain facts.
.-= Walter´s last blog ..Deciding point: conquering limitations =-.
Heya Walter!
Glad to have you here!
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it!
Cheers!
Diggy
Good stuff Diggy!
I have not seen that version of the tortoise/hare story before. Very refreshing.
You are so right about the general prejudice of people towards self-improvement stuff. I encountered this first hand when I started talking about it with my friends. However, they’re starting to come around after seeing the changes I’ve made. I think it’s a lot easier to show people the value of personal development instead of just telling them about the value.
.-= Dave Witwicki´s last blog ..Book Review : Fearless by Max Lucado =-.
It’s true. People go beyond being dismissive toward self-improvement. Some seem to harbor real animosity. That’s too bad. Their biases are preventing them from experiencing some truly great stuff!
Heya Brad!
Welcome and thanks for stopping by!
Have an awesome day!!
Thanks for the post..I got some useful information from this post,you should write more about this,I’ll be waiting for your next post
GooD Day
Carol Tanady
All Self Improvement Secret
[...] Self Improvement is Not for LosersThe message of this post for those of you who are uneasy or new to self-improvement, those of you [...]