Wooooohoooo, yeeeeehoooo, wooooohooooo, yeeeehoooo
(Lol, I’m not crazy, I promise:) it’s from Escape – Gwen Stefani and if you sing it out loud it puts you in the best mood ever!)
I decided to post something less ‘serious’ and less ‘personal developmenty’ for a change and write about something else which I really enjoy: meeting new girls and going on dates.
I see it around me so much, guys and girls who have so much going for them and yet they feel a little sad because they don’t have dates on weekends. Some people have the self limiting belief that they cannot find an attractive person to go on a date with, others are simply to scared to approach new people and others are still hung up over that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend they broke up with 2 years ago.
Whatever the ‘reason’ , you tell yourself that you don’t have a date on Friday and Saturday night while you sit at home watching TV instead of being out with someone. Be open-minded in accepting my idea that this ‘reason’ is just an excuse and it is all in your head. (That is unless you live in an isolated town in the middle of nowhere and there simply are no people to date…in that case, I can’t help you, cartoon network is fun right? )
I don’t know about you, but I love going on dates with a girl I find attractive. Whether it is just coffee and a walk in the park or an adventure and ice-skating and climbing mountains. The whole process of getting to know someone, finding out what they like and dislike, connecting with them on a level that you cannot connect with your friends on and of course having them feel the same way about you.
Unless you are single because you don’t want someone or because you are playing the field and taking home a different girl (or guy) every weekend, I think deep down you really would like to have the choice and opportunity to go out with different people you find attractive.
I’m going to share with you the secret how to get more dates.
No matter who you are and what you look like, what job you have or what car you drive, this applies for everyone.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…ARE YOU READY?????
Hehe, sorry for making it so dramatic, I’m really enjoying playing the part. I feel like one of the TV game-show hosts:)
The secret to getting more dates is being more social and talking to more people. It’s very simple. The more people you talk to and start a conversation with, the bigger the chance is that you will end up with their phone number or a date to see them again.
For many people (myself a while back included) this can be a scary thing. Talking to an attractive stranger – “what if they don’t like me?” “What if they reject me?”, “What if they laugh at me and I feel like an idiot?” These are all the kind of questions that we tell ourselves and use as an excuse not to go and talk to that pretty girl/guy that made us walk an extra 10 minutes in a shopping mall and buy a t-shirt we really didn’t even want just so we could stand close to them in the line.
There is no way for me to take that fear away from you. All you have to do is trust me when I say you get used to it and you stop caring what people think or how people will react. Mostly, the worst that happens is that you find they are less interesting than you think – Next! Read Buddah’s Wisdom for a simple story about other peoples abuse and bad reaction. It’s really good!
Any city has loads of places you can meet dates – bars, nightclubs, gyms, shopping malls and dancing classes, public transport.
All you need to do for yourself is make a plan. A plan stating that you will go out Monday,Wednesday and Friday for 1 hour or 2 hours or whatever you decide. You make a decision to approach 4 girls/guys in that hour, one every 15 minutes. This is a plan you are making when you are emotionally neutral, and you are going to stick to this plan no matter what. If you have to,give your best friend $150 and get them to give you $50 back every night you go out. If you miss a night, your friend keeps the $50. Just an incentive:)
The idea is that initially you will probably find it hard and scary to talk to strangers. What do you say? (I’ll give you a few ideas in a sec). After time, you will find it natural, and become more talkative, and you will be making friends and getting dates as easy as taking candy from a baby. It is about practice
WHAT TO SAY?
Forget the idea that you need to have something to say, something prepared, some canned opener or line to break the ice. Why are you talking to him/her in the first place? Well, because you find them attractive! You don’t need an excuse to talk to them.
I like saying some of the following:
“Hey! Whatsup? I’m Diggy! Nice to meetcha!”
“I think you are absolutely gorgeous! Who are you?”
“Hey! I have no idea what to say to you to make you smile, but I knew I wanted to meet you. I’m Diggy”
Just be cool, relaxed, honest and chilled and show interest but not in a creepy way. There are many lines that you can use just for fun, and I like playing around with those too, but generally the above are more than enough to start a good conversation with anyone. Try and avoid the boring interview questions of “what do you do” “how old are you”. As a rule, try not to answer her/his questions directly in the beginning, make a joke, tell a story. The more you show that you don’t care what that person thinks of you or how they will react, the more they will feel attracted to you and the more they will be interested in getting to know you. This is because you are not taking value from them, so they can feel at ease and relaxed while talking to you, and if on top of that you add value, by telling stories,making them laugh and have a good time, then they will want to be around you.
It takes time to learn what works and what you can say and do, because honestly I’ve said and done stuff that I thought I would never get away with and thought that she would turn around and not talk to me ever again, but surprisingly she didn’t really care. You don’t have to be perfect all the time, sometimes you are allowed to do dumb things:) If there’s no spark, wish them well in a friendly way, you never know, you might meet again and leaving a good impression is always the best.
If you are getting along, take out your phone and tell them to punch in their number and save it. Call them back so they have your number and tell them to save your number under “King Diggy” or whatever you think is cool:) In my experience it is best to agree to meet up again and get her looking forward to it before you part ways, and from there all you have to do is give her a call and organize the date details.
There is so much more to write about this, but this is pretty much the jist of how to get more dates.
- Make a plan to actively practice meeting people!
- Make a commitment!
- Go out and meet more people!
- Be your relaxed self just killing time, being friendly!
- Stick to the plan!
- Rinse and repeat:)
Please feel free to leave a comment! I would love to hear your thoughts about this!:)
Have a Rockin’ day
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