Click Here To Solve ShynessNothing in life goes exactly the way you plan it. You can get exactly what you want from life but it hardly ever comes in the exact way or at the exact time that you want it to and it often ends up sticking around for longer or shorter than you plan it to.
If you don’t know how to deal with this it can cause terrible frustration and fill your heart with sadness for much longer than it should. I decided to write this article for all of you who are experiencing hurt, heart-ache or loss your lives right now in order to help you get through the difficult times…
“You never get to see it coming, you just get to watch it go.” – Drake
Drake is one of my favorite artists, especially because he’s often got some very powerful truths about life in his lyrics.
When you think about it, every good thing that’s ever happened to you has kind of snuck up of you and gradually made it’s way into your life and become a part of you. You’re never aware of when it going to arrive (like a new love, business success or awesome friends) but you’re always very aware when it leaves.
I personally still get very sad when things I’ve come to enjoy and love so much are over and leave my life. I’m not just talking about girls who I end up falling for, but also the change when times with friends come to an end or when there’s a big change to my life routine that I’ve come to love. A simple truth about life is that any place is only as good as the people you know there. When one or more of the people you know in a place leave from your life (whether it be through the end your relationship, them moving to another place or even through death) the place becomes a lot less special and you’re left with an empty space in your life.
I know many of you experience similar feelings when losing something or someone you’ve come to love. Many of you struggle dealing with the change and accepting the fact that what you got so used to loving is now no more. Based on my own experience and knowledge, here’s what you need to do to deal with hurt, heart-ache and loss in the best way possible and how to move on…
Make Peace With “Constant Change”
From the relatively short life I’ve lived so far I’ve come to realize that great things will constantly come into and leave from your life. Some great things stick around very briefly (days or weeks) and others for a longer time (years or even a lifetime).
What you should do right now in order to really make the most of life and live it to the fullest is to accept the fact that great things will come into and leave from your life for as long as you live.
When you make peace with the fact of constant change it’s much easier to enjoy the emotional “highs” of good things being in your life and to not be as depressed by the emotional “lows” when the good things come to an end.
As with anything in life you can see a loss of something good from two perspectives:
- You can either be sad that it’s gone and that you won’t have it anymore…
OR - you can be thankful that you had it and for the time that you could do it.
I always like to choose the latter because gratitude allows you to fill yourself with positive thoughts and memories. It allows you to continue to enjoy the present and future life you have.
If you choose to focus on the fact that you lost something you came to enjoy and love so much, you’re filling yourself with negative emotions, destroying the beautiful memories and seriously reducing the quality of your present and future life you still have left to live.
Embrace The Hurt
When something you’ve come to love and enjoy very much is suddenly no longer a part of your life it’s like there’s a huge gap left inside you. If you don’t deal with the loss in a correct way it can cause you to become very sad and depressed for months or even years which affects others around you and makes you miss the rest of your life you have left to live.
Some losses are more difficult to deal with than others. I’d say that the death of a loved one is pretty much the worst loss you can experience but the ending of a relationship can also be very difficult to deal with. Everyone has different ways of dealing with change or loss, but I’d say that the best way to deal with any form of hurt is to:
Embrace the hurt, shed the tears, cherish the memories and move on with nothing but love in your heart.
I know it’s tempting to try to block out the hurt, to deny what has happened and to bottle it up but that’s the absolute worst thing that you can do. Bottling up hurt is going to reduce the quality of your present and future life and it’s going to reduce your opportunities to be happy in the future. That bottled-up hurt will find a way to grow bigger and eventually surface as some form of depression or emotional breakdown.
The best way to deal with any hurt, heart-ache or loss is to embrace that hurt. Embrace the pain. Let if flow through you without any resistance. Let it hurt as much as it can until it feels like you could just explode and disintegrate into millions of little piece of matter, and then let it hurt some more. Depending on the situation, this intense hurt can last for a few days or a few weeks but it will pass. Just like an incredible storm, after it’s done raging and destroying, the sun will shine again. After the intense hurt has passed, you’ve processed it in the best way possible and you can begin the healing process of moving on with your life without carrying that hurt with you.
Let It Go and Look Forward
Console yourself with the fact that the universe has bigger plans for you and that there are many great things that will still come into your life. You may not always understand the reason why your life follows the path it does and why certain things come into and leave from your life but there is always a reason. Sometimes it’s best to let go of wanting to know why, to stop swimming upstream and to just go with the flow and let the river of life take you wherever it’s going to take you.
“Sometimes something needs to fall apart in order for something better to come together.”
Send The Right Signals To The Universe
Do you ever feel like the same bad things keep happening to you? Like that you always end up in relationships with people that end up hurting you? Or that every time you experience some success or progress that something happens to sabotage it and you go back to square one?
There was a time in my life where I felt like that but after years of reading and experimenting, I’ve learned that your mindset and the way in which you think is largely responsible for the events that occur in your life. After experimenting with changing my thoughts and mindset over the last years, I’ve definitely been able to attract the kind of things that I want into my life, but not always in the way that I plan it or at the time I really want it.
For example:
For a long time I was just going from girl to girl without having anything too serious of a relationship although I really wanted to get a steady girlfriend (but I never believed I could get one).
At a point my desire to get a girlfriend became very strong… so strong in fact that I was just thinking about it every day. Within a few months I met a girl who became my girlfriend as I wanted it and I ended up seeing her for 9 months.
I really enjoyed the relationship I had with this girl and we had many great moments together, there’s no doubt about that. There were certain things lacking from the relationship that I really wanted to have in my life and these things eventually caused me to end the relationship.
I started thinking about the things lacking in my relationship at the time on a daily basis, things that I wanted to have from any romantic relationship I’d have in future. Within a few weeks of ending my 9 month relationship, I met a girl who gave me exactly what was lacking from my previous relationship. I had an amazing time with her for 2 months until circumstances caused us to part ways on good terms. That left me a little sad but maybe our paths will cross again in future. Who knows.
There was also a time when I focused on other goals besides girls (like growing my blog audience and reaching a certain target for online income) that I achieved within a few months of seriously thinking about it on a daily basis.
Right now I’m focusing on a goal for a sum of money that I want to earn by the end of October 2011 which I want to use to have a great holiday when I go to Europe in November.
I included this section about the way in which you think because it can make a world of difference to the amount of hurt your experience. If you learn to think in a way which will attract happiness into your life (instead of negativity) then there’s a good chance that you can avoid a lot of future hurt in your life.
You may still be skeptical about the Law of Attraction (or whatever you want to call it) but I have no doubt that you can attract whatever you want into your life by seriously focusing your thoughts on it. Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), you still need to combine that serious focus on what you want with taking action. When you do that, you’ll notice that the universe will start giving you more of what you want.
Do you think I would get a girlfriend just by focusing on it? No, I needed to go out to get into the situation that would lead to me getting a girlfriend.
Do you think I’m just going to make money by focusing on it? No, I need to take action and do something that will put me in the situation where I’m going to make money.
Tip: If you want to know how to manifest your desires and put your intentions out to the universe in a scientific way, check out my friend Rishan’s Manifest it All Today. He has a really great video course that teaches you EXACTLY how to manifest pretty much anything you desire in 2 days flat, and his course only costs 17 bucks.
Embrace the hurt, shed the tears, cherish the memories and move on with nothing but love in your heart.
