Well, today I’m going to show you how you can build confidence with anything you do, no matter what aspect of life it is.

Sounds good doesn’t it?

I’m not going to pretend I’m so perfect and good at everything myself, far from it actually, I’m still learning and correcting myself all the time, but I know the process that someone needs to take to become confident at something.

Confidence with something comes from trusting yourself and knowing you can do it.This comes from success and failure, and perseverance to continue at it despite the failure.

Even if you have not done a certain thing before, you have succeeded in many other things so you will succeed at this too. Where there is a will there is a way.

The biggest obstacle to gaining confidence is self-limiting beliefs.
The little voice in your head saying “you’re not good enough” “you’ll never make it” “why would she choose you”. Those are all self-limiting beliefs that we impose upon ourselves and thus deny our full potential.

Building confidence comes with baby steps.
First you learn to crawl, then you walk and only then do you run.
One day at a time.

The flipside of confidence is arrogance, when you become too confident about something, and then thinking you are better than someone or too good to do something. More about that later.

HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE

Confidence comes from success and success does not come without failure.

In order to build confidence with something, you first need to point out what you want to build confidence with. This sounds obvious but seriously, get a piece of paper and a pen and jot it down.

1-Write down what you would like to be more confident with.

2-Write down what it is that is holding you back. (self-limiting beliefs)

3-Write down what you would need to do to build confidence, what would it take for you to realise ‘Hey, I’m actually not that bad at tennis/mathematics/dancing etc.

4-MAKE A PLAN OF ACTION, how day by day, week by week you are going to tackle your problem, and then stick to that plan of action for a set time period but I would say a minimum of 3 months.

Let me give you an example

This was one area I was never really confident in, because A- I had little experience with it and B- I always was worried that people would think I was dumb or looked like an idiot.
I’m going to do the example as if it was a confidence problem I was having right now.

DANCING

1-Yes, I was always scared to go out and dance, let alone go and dance on a nearly empty dancefloor in a club with so many people watching. I want to be more confident with dancing and want to be able to walk on to any dancefloor,even if it is empty, and feel totally comfortable.

2-What is holding me back?
The idea that I can’t dance. I was born with no rythm. People will think I’m a loser and they will point and laugh.

3-What will I need to build confidence, what will it take? (GOAL)
Hmm, for myself, If I would go out and dance and a few people would genuinely tell me “hey, you’re a good dancer” and this would happen over a few nights over a few weeks, then I would feel pretty confident about my dancing.

4-PLAN OF ACTION?

*Join hip-hop dancing classes twice a week.

*Watch youtube videos of people dancing in clubs or breakdancing and try to copy that at home.

*Spend at least 30 minutes to an hour every single day learning moves from youtube videos and dancing in my room till I feel it actually looks like something.

*Make a daily calendar with a ‘check’ box that I must tick every day once I have done my dancing practice, hang it up on my mirror.

Go out once a week to a club and just dance, do not care if people watch, stare or laugh.
If that is too much, practice for a month at home, then hit the club to dance in front of people.

You see? You can do this with any area you want to build confidence with:
Dancing,friends,dating,money,sports,music,public speaking.

Once you have it written down, with the PLAN OF ACTION, all that you need to do is actually DO IT!
You can say ‘that is the hard part’, but you have nothing to lose and everthing to gain. Be true to yourself, follow your desire to build that confidence, and take it one day at a time. Practising at home every single day will not cause you any embarassment. It will make you feel good knowing that you are working on building confidence, on improving and getting better. And one day after all the practising you will feel ready to try it for real. Maybe you will fail a few times, maybe embarass yourself.

Just get up, dust yourself off and carry on what you were doing.

Another real quick example was when I was learning to wakeboard.
For 3 days straight I would sit on the edge of the jetty, wakeboard on my feet, holding the rope ready to jump. The boat would speed off and I would fall straight in the water. Time after time. I couldn’t make it 10 m without falling. There was a massive line at the jetty, all these people watching me fall time after time. It did feel a little embarassing,some people laughed and pointed and I felt very self-concious but I kept at it nonetheless.

One time, I jumped in the water and I just stood up, and the boat kept pulling me, 10m,20m,50m, and I was riding the ocean. I still fell occasionally, but as I did it more and more, I got more confident and better, and the enjoyment was so good.

Now if I had quit after a day of falling in the water in front of people, I would never have gotten better, and never been able to enjoy wakeboarding, and would always carry that failure with me.

You only fail once you quit for good.

TAKE ACTION TODAY AND START BUILDING CONFIDENCE

1-Write down what you would like to be more confident with.

2-Write down what it is that is holding you back. (self-limiting beliefs)

3-Write down what you would need to do to build confidence, what would it take for you to realise ‘Hey, I’m actually not that bad at tennis/mathematics/dancing etc.

4-MAKE A PLAN OF ACTION, how day by day, week by week you are going to tackle your problem, and then stick to that plan of action for a set time period but I would say a minimum of 3 months.