How To Be A Man In The 21st Century


Just because are born with the physical male anatomy and the ability to grow a beard does not mean that you are a man. So what is the definition of a real man?

Being a real man means that you need to know how to start a fire with two sticks, you need to be able to survive in the wild by knowing which plants are edible and you need to know how to kill an antelope with nothing but a knife. Your martial arts skills must be close to perfection and you should be able to kick serious ass…Naaa, I’m just kidding, don’t worry.

While these qualities are rather manly, they are not neccessary in today’s world. Being a man in the 21st century consists of some other qualities. From the day that we are born we are trained and conditioned to follow orders and get in line so that we can follow the same process that everyone else in the world is supposed to go through. Even though it is said and claimed that schools and universities teach us to be independent and think for ourselves, there are only exceptions who manage to become really free and creative thinkers by going to university. Usually these people are already creative and independent by nature and their study process just helped to bring it out of them even more.

The problem with a school is that it is still a system, developed for the majority by a group of people who think their schooling system is the right one for every human being to learn. University becomes a bit more specific and focused, but it is still a system developed by other people for other people. If you realize this fact, then you are able to take action. You can take responsibility for forging your own path and you can use the system to help you and set you free. If you just blindly follow the system (By going to class, studying the material, writing the exams and getting the degree) without being inspired to do anything with what you have learned, you are just another pawn on the chessboard. Use what you have learned and build on it. Use it as a stepping stone on your own mission to success.




Guy Gets Girl



How To Be A Man In The 21st Century


1.) Make Decisions

A real man makes decisions. It is either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but it is one of the two. Indecisiveness (as mentioned before) is not a quality of the real man. The attractiveness of making decisions ties in with the next point which is ‘taking responsibility’. A man who makes decisions differentiates himself from the others because he is willing to take risk, trust his own judgement and accept the consquences thereof.

He is not certain if his decision is the right one and if it will lead to the best result, but it is the best decision he can make at the time. The real man knows that not making a decision at all is worse than making the wrong one. If he makes a mistake and he made the wrong choice, he will correct it and learn from his mistake.

2.) Take Responsibility

A real man takes responsibilities for his actions. Whatever the consequences are of his decisions, he deals with them. He looks after his family and his friends. He does what needs to be done without question. He knows that there are certain things that are unpleasant but these things need to be done. There is nobody else who will do these things for him and he could not carry on living his life while neglecting his responsibilities.

3.) Honor, Courage & Integrity

He can be counted on. When he says that he will do something you can be assured that he will move mountains to make good on his promise. For him there is little worse than not keeping his word. He would hate to lost his integrity.

The real man protects his girl and his friends from any danger. He will not hesitate to take on 3 or 5 other guys if they are a threat to his family or beliefs. He is not scared of battle or conflict but will not go out looking for it. Physical confrontations are a last resort but if needs be he will fight till the death and take a bullet for the people he cares about.

4.) Don’t Place Women Or Relationships On A Pedestal Above Yourself

Back in our primitive days, the man was the hunter and protector. He did not take any crap. If he saw a woman he liked and wanted, he would take her. He might even have clubbed her over the head and dragged her back to his cave if she did not go with him willingly. These days most “men” are too scared to even look a gorgeous woman straight in the eyes, let alone approach her and start a conversation.

I think that modern society does not raise us to be real men. As little boys our mothers,educators and the media have a big influence on how we are supposed to grow up, how we must treat women and how we must live our lives. We are taught to always be “nice” to girls, buy them flowers and gifts, and that the best way to get a girl is to obey her every wish. Oh my, could there be a skewer perception?

I’m not saying that the right way to get girls is to be a total jerk to them and to never buy them anything, not at all. Women are amazing creatures and they should be treated with respect. You must strive to be a gentleman but not a gentle man. Women are attracted to real men. Insecurity and undecisiveness are not qualities of real men, but neither is being a jerk. Love, give and care but have boundaries. When you say no because something is against your principles, then the answer is and must remain ‘no’. Women will respect you infinitely because of this, which brings me to my next point. A man’s mission and purpose in his life is the most important thing to him, even more important than his relationship.

5.)A Purpose & Mission In Life

A real man has a mission in life and knows his purpose. Whether it be to create a new empire or to improve the lives of others, the man’s mission is the most important thing in his life. He values his mission more than his relationship (even though he will do everything he can and must to protect the ones he loves.

As an example we can take a dedicated soldier who has a family. One day the soldier is on vacation at home with his family when a catastrophy of some kind happens close to him that threatens to destroy everything he believes in. In this catastrophy he is not oblidged to help yet he is able to and can make a difference. He knows that if he would go to help there is a big risk of him never returning home. His wife knows this too and begs him not to go, yet he has already made up his mind to go and help. He has arrangements in place to make sure his wife and family get the best they can if he were never to return. Although he has the choice to stay with his family and ensure his own survival, he cannot do this. His purpose of fighting for what he believes in is intertwined with his values, honor and integrity. If he ignores this, he is ignoring himself and he could not live with himself. Although his wife does not want him to go, she understands that he has to go. If he would not go, while she would be happy, on some level she would lose respect for him.

The above is just one example of how a man’s mission and purpose is holy to him. It defines who he is and what he lives for. A man may very well have multiple missions throughout his lifetime. As soon as he completes one of his missions or purposes he will soon find another.

6.) Do Not Be Dictated By Fear

A real man is not dictated by his fears. Instead, he faces them and confronts them. He does not run in order to avoid what he is scared of. (I mean this as a generalization. Of course if he sees a big, angry grizzly bear coming towards him he is going to run for his life).

He walks his own path and makes his own decisions even though people constantly tell him what to do and give him advice. He will take everything into consideration but does not value anyone’s opinion higher than his own.

7.) Admit Your Mistakes

A real man is not afraid to admit that he was wrong. As soon as he becomes aware of the fact that he has made a mistake he will openly admit it and apologize. He will not make excuses or try to deny that he was wrong because he knows that there is no shame in making mistakes. He is merely human just like everyone else, but he will learn from his mistakes. That is the difference between the real man and his fellow men.


Final Thoughts


evolution


I do not claim to master all the above points and be a perfect real man, yet I work towards that goal constantly. This article is just my own view of the qualities of a real man and how he behaves. I hope that you found some truth in my opinion and that I maybe even inspired you to make some changes to the way you think and the way you are living your life.

P.S. If you want to learn to get better at attracting women, I really suggest checking out my free video at http://www.simpleattractionsecrets.com.

  • Francoise

    I agree with the comments about this list being one that can applied to any person, regardless of gender, so it still leaves the question unanswered as to what makes a man today….

  • michael

    Hope… I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an Emperor – that’s not my business – I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that.
    We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.
    The way of life can be free and beautiful.
    But we have lost the way.
    Greed has poisoned men’s souls – has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.
    We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in: machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little: More than machinery we need humanity; More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.
    The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say “Do not despair”.
    The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die [now] liberty will never perish…
    Soldiers – don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you – who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.
    Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate – only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers – don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty.
    In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written ” the kingdom of God is within man ” – not one man, nor a group of men – but in all men – in you, the people.
    You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let’s use that power – let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

  • Megan

    Eh, this still encourages men to maintain the “tough guy” facade. Why can’t men just be men? Why do they have to conform to a certain set of standards?

    • Diggy

      Hey Megan,
      Unfortunately many guys are wussies and not men. This doesn’t mean that they can’t learn though. As a girl I’m sure you really dislike neediness and low self esteem.

      There is no need to be a tough guy, you can be nerdy, shy or sensitive but still have the qualities of a real man (integrity, honesty, courage etc.)

      I hope you understand what I’m trying to say?

  • http://www.sarahkathleenpeck.com Sarah

    Diggy…. haha, awesome post. just saw it pop up on Twitter.

    You can replace “man” with “person” and the post would apply to either gender. How to be an AWESOME PERSON in the 21st Century. Have character, make decisions, don’t put relationships up on a pedestal, never be dictated by fear, and be honest and admit when you make mistakes!

    If everyone followed those guidelines, the world would explode with greatness.

    Dig it.

  • http://bunnygotblog.com Bunnygotblog

    I like what you are saying here now if men would only use your suggestions.

    • Diggy

      Hey Bunny!

      Happy new year!:)
      Thank you! I hope that enough men read this and use the advice I give. I’m sure a lot of women would be MUCH happier if their men followed these rules.

  • http://bunnygotblog.com Bunnygotblog

    Now if men would only use your suggestions.

  • http://www.vicdorfman.com Vic Dorfman

    Diggy,

    I’m glad to see you addressing more of this type of topic lately.

    What makes a man is complicated in my opinion and there is no one size fits all prescription.

    But you do a great job of identifying the characteristics of a man.

    Peace,
    Vic

    • Diggy

      Hey Vic,
      Of course everyone is unique and everyone should be unique. However, as a real man there are certain characteristics and qualities that he should have, and I did my best to list those qualities in this post!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  • http://moomin-wanderingworld.blogspot.com/ Michele Nicholls

    Hi, Diggy, thanks for re-posting this on Twitter, wasn’t around last year!

    Way back when, millenia ago, men became afraid of women, and it’s really sad that so many still are, but they’re not ‘Men’, they’re still little boys, afraid of scary Mom! Integrity is certainly the important word, whether you’re male or female.

    Keep writing, love your ability to provoke me to look at things afresh ;o)

    I wish you a phenomenal 2011!

    • Diggy

      Hey Michele!

      Glad to have you as a reader now:)
      Happy new year and best wishes for 2011!

      Yeah you’re right, so many men are boys and wussies. It’s not their fault though, society raises them to be wussies. To go to school, to fit in, to be nice. Alpha behaviour is often punished and looked down upon while following the rules is rewarded.

  • http://thepolyman.com/ Andrew

    Hey Diggy, I just came across your blog today and and fairly impressed with the content so far – great work! This post about being a man in particular is one of my favorites, being that this topic is one that I’m very passionate about.

    Thank you for this, and helping to spread the message.

    There’s a problem with the the phrase “real man” though, as so many people define it differently. So instead, I made up my own name for it, called a polyman. I really have a feeling you’ll resonate with what I define it as, and appreciate any input you may have: http://thepolyman.com/2010/03/what-is-a-polyman/

    Hopefully it’ll also help you with being and defining a real man, and if you ever want to shoot some ideas around, let me know!

    Best,
    Andrew
    .-= Andrew´s last blog ..The Secret to Why Setting Goals Doesn’t Work =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Andrew,
      Thanks for stopping by! Yeah your post is pretty sweet.It’s all about constantly improving yourself and not being affected by the judgement of others, staying true to yourself and having integrity. (among other things of course)

      • http://thepolyman.com/ Andrew

        Diggy, you’re spot on. If you’re not growing, you’re stagnant… or worse. There’s so many things you gotta keep at.

        Thanks for your kind words too, I appreciate it! I can’t wait to look at your new book, it looks like a lot of hard work put into it, great work.
        .-= Andrew´s last blog ..The Secret to Why Setting Goals Doesn’t Work =-.

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  • Laura

    AMEN! For far too long now, it has seemed that most of what look to be Men and Women are really little kids marching around in adult bodies. I too believe that this may be a bit of backlash of the sexual revolution…

    Too much confusion as to who and how to be…..and subsequently, men have lost the ability to be themselves.

    I think, too, that this has perpetuated the trend for girls seeking the ‘bad boy’ – they don’t really want an abusive jerk, but they are craving a real MAN, and only ‘bad boys’ even begin to look like a man in control of his life.

    We don’t really want an abusive jerk…just a Manly Man ;-) But since so many men have become so indecisive, so utterly wishy-washy, and out-of-integrity to themselves, bending at whim, with no sense of commitment to values, etc, when you encounter a ‘bad boy’ they seem to be all those things others so utterly seem to lack. Until you spend a little bit more time with them, and discover that most ‘bad boys’ are just that…bad BOYS.

    So….where are all the real MEN hiding, Diggy? Because they are rare, but beautiful to behold.

    Thanks for the great post!
    Create an amazing day for yourself,
    Laura

  • Lillian Sockwell

    Hi there,
    I have no idea how I found your blog(link from another blog perhaps :) , but really enjoyed reading your post. I agree. Women really respect real men. I will check out the rest of your articles.
    Of course, he shouldn’t be a real man for female reasons but for his own integrity. Integrity-love that word!

    • Diggy

      Hey Lilian!
      Thanks for the kind words. Agreed, women want real men :)
      Men also want real women, the perfect union of the masculine and feminine energies.

      Have a fantastic weekend !

  • Tariq

    Hey Diggy

    WOW. Finally someone came out with Truth. Really enjoyed reading your opinions. You are the REAL MAN.

    I agree with the part that media, social pressure and other issues dominating the behavior of man of this generation. This has to change.

    Cheers for the thought provoking article.

    • Diggy

      Hey Tariq!!
      Welcome to Upgradereality ;)

      Glad to hear that you enjoyed the article, thank you for leaving a comment and getting in touch!

  • Constantin

    Definitely agree with all points, admitting your mistakes and taking responsibility definitely go hand in hand. Real men do not lie. They have no need to because they live from a place of completely authenticity and conviction in pursuing their mission.

    If for some reason you do lie, you need to fess up quick. Apologize ONCE, don’t say sorry over and over. Apologize ONCE, and MOVE ON!

    This post reminded me a lot of David Deida’s book “The Way of the Superior Man”. Have you had a chance to read it? It’s amazing!

  • Mwasi

    Thanks Man, this is a wake up call. Thanx also for the illustration it actual sums up the gentle man of today.

    • Diggy

      Hey Man!
      You’re welcome, glad you enjoyed the post :)

  • http://www.wasabiburger.com Stacey

    Those are great points, no just for being a man, but for being a good person as well.

    • Diggy

      Thanks for the kind words Stacey :)

  • BrianJUY

    Hey Diggy,

    I’m not trying to stroke you off, but this is one of the best blog post I’ve read in a while.

    I think this should be drilled into every elementary aged boys head every year for the rest of his life.

    If I had one thing to add it would be:
    A real man won’t let his false pride and ego get in the way of asking for help when he needs it.

    Most guys don’t have the backbone or integrity to be a real man. If I didn’t know better I would say you were a former U.S. Marine like me.

    One thing I learned about military service was “To be a great leader, you must be a great follower.”

    Yes you are given “blind” orders. But if you believe an order is wrong, you are allowed to question it and take it up your chain of command. And sometimes, orders are wrong… “F’ed up is F’ed up, it doesn’t matter what rank you are.”

    Keep it up…
    .-= BrianJUY´s last blog ..How to Write with Authority… =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Brian!
      Haha, when I read your comment for the first time I thought “WTF!” but then it turned out to be a pretty cool comment.:)

      Interesting to hear your perspective about the military. I have no idea what it’s like of course. Did you enjoy serving in the military and how would you say that it has changed you as a man?

      • BrianJUY

        @ Diggy

        LOL… Gotta love the comments that make you say WFT?

        The military definitely changed me as a man. In fact, I would go as far to say it molded me into a man and gave me the foundation for the man I am today. I joined when I was 17. I had no real direction in life… I was a punk and heading down the wrong road.

        The military taught me brotherhood, discipline, leadership, decisiveness, accountability, fearlessness and trained me to kill… Not to mention the U.S.M.C. drove its motto into my core.

        The U.S.M.C. motto is Semper Fidelis (Latin for Always Faithful) and it’s core values are Honor, Courage and Commitment.

        Did I enjoy the military? The U.S. was ramping up for war when I got out.

        The first 2 years of service were amazing… I had a great time, it was so much fun… Women LOVE a Marine in uniform, they put YOU on a pedestal. It was non-stop fun (after boot-camp).

        The second 2 years sucked balls… I was an Arabic Linguist (during the Clinton Administration)… Once you start picking up rank, it’s all about politics… and I’m not a kiss-ass.

        I wouldn’t change that experience for anything… To this day, my two best friends in the world I met when I was in the U.S.M.C. and I have a handful of brothers around the world I can call on for help if I ever need it. That goes both ways…
        .-= BrianJUY´s last blog ..How to Write with Authority… =-.

  • http://improveminduniversity.blogspot.com Jonathan Figaro

    A real man does know his purpose and you continue to prove it time and time again. Great work!

    • Diggy

      Hey Jonathan!
      Long time no see! How are things with you?

  • JB King

    On point number 5, about knowing his purpose and mission in life, how does a guy do that? I would have liked a link or two to another post explaining that a bit more. I’m curious more about how does one find that and know that that is indeed his purpose in life.

    If someone were to ask why there is such difficulty in raising men, I think part of the answer can be in some guys being those lone wolves that don’t form a community to give them various rites of passage. I didn’t have groups of people wanting me to mature into a man and welcome those changes. Instead I was a student for years, graduating from high school and university and then a worker drone. Not to say that my existence was mindless, just that I didn’t seem to have ambitions or communities to help develop my personal side.

    Overall I think it is an awesome post and would like more details on the purpose and mission part as I feel that resonates with me though I’m not entirely sure why.

    • Diggy

      Hey JB!
      Thanks for your comment :)

      One of the problems of today’s society is that we do not know our purpose. I cannot tell you what your purpose is, it is one that you discover for yourself. You need to discover your passions and your heart’s desires and follow them, that is what your purpose will be. It may take time to find that purpose, and it may take you months of reading and learning before you have the answer. A great book I recommend is “The Superior Man” by David Deida. It explains many points in my post in much greater details and hopefully will give you some good answers!

      Feel free to email me if you have more questions :)

  • Oscar – freestyle mind

    Diggy, you know we are both part of the last picture (the man sitting at the computer). But as you said the qualities to be a real man are changed. Great post.
    .-= Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..Concentration Music Playlists =-.

    • Diggy

      Haha Oscar, yeah that’s true. No more running through the jungle with a spear or a club, now it’s sitting in front of a screen trying to make a living :)

  • http://www.healthmoneysuccess.com Vincent

    Hey Diggy,

    I love this article. Being a real man has so many benefits. One example would be being decisive. It helps to allow our life to move on much faster and experience accelerated growth. So many people are indecisive about the action they want to take and they end up being caught in a limbo state.

    Not to forget being a real man attract more girls too. ;)

    Cheers,
    Vincent
    .-= Vincent´s last blog ..Others Want To See You Make Decisions – Start Being Decisive Now =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Vincent!
      Glad you like the article :) Thanks for stopping by!

  • Kim

    For a moment, I considered offering to do a guest post on How to Be a Woman ;) but the desirous characteristics that you listed can be applied to either sex.

    The relationships we have in our lives reflect what is going on within. If I live in integrity, take responsibility, admit my mistakes, etc. I hope to attract others who do the same.

    Great post Diggy :)

    • Diggy

      Heya Kim!
      I agree that many of the principles apply to women too! If you could make a guide explaining exactly what makes women happy and what they want then the entire male population wil love you for it! :)

      • Kim

        Oh, if it were that easy! Everyone is a unique snowflake. Then, put two unique people together and the combination of love and madness are endless.

  • http://www.mindthebeginner.net ChristiaanH

    It’s either yes or now. That one seems to me the most crucial in your list Dirk. Looking back at the past there are so many instances that I didn’t choose and missed a chance.

    On the other hand I know how to make fire with just sticks, trap small game and eat plants. But that’s not much good when you have central heating, the supermarket and a hamburger shack on every corner.

    Make choice and stand behind it, and if it was the wrong choice well, it’s your cross to bear. Mine is being indecisive. What’s yours?
    .-= ChristiaanH´s last blog ..The Rule of 7 and Effective Writing =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Christiaan!

      Haha, that made me laugh :) I also suffered from the indecisiveness factor but it’s gotten better. I have learned to just make a decision (calculated) and deal with whatever comes next.

  • http://www.cheerupnation.com PAPA

    Homerun, Diggy! Let me Tweet for you.

    Oh, and if you want to read a good book, read “The Last American Man” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Excellent Book!!

    Here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/Last-American-Man-Elizabeth-Gilbert/dp/0142002836/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264457189&sr=8-1

    • Diggy

      Ola Brian!
      Thanks for the comment and the link to the book! :) Have a great week!

  • http://www.thewaythatyouwander.com Nate

    Very nice. Being more decisive is something that I’ve been working on. For example, being able to say no. A man does need to be able to say no and stand for something. Lots of good points here, Diggy. I’ll be keeping them in mind.
    .-= Nate´s last blog ..reclaim your weekend =-.

    • Diggy

      Heya Nate!
      Glad you enjoyed the post! Keep well buddy!

  • Carmen

    Well, I’m not a man but if I met a man with the qualities you list they sure would be a catch! Maybe you should start a “real man training camp!”
    .-= Carmen´s last blog ..Viva Mexico! Settling in Oaxaca, a Cultural Mecca -The Zaia Nomading Year Continues =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Carmen!
      Thanks for stopping by! Haha, I know of a few of those type of bootcamps already. I may just do it in the future but right now I don’t think I’m qualified to run a botocamp like that yet :)

      • Andy Iskandar

        “I know of a few of those type of bootcamps already”

        I’m curious Diggy, where exactly can I find out more about these bootcamps you’re talking about?

  • Sami Paju

    Number 4 reminds me a lot about what Tyler Durden said in Fight Club: We are a generation of men raised by women. In other words, we’ve (and by we I mean me) grown up without good male models around. It’s very rare to have a person who portraits these characteristics of mature masculinity and gives you an example, someone to look up to.

    @Gordie, I think even more important than showing your feelings is to be connected and accept your feelings first. I think this is an area where many men have problems. Whether or not it’s about “real men don’t cry” attitude, their own sexuality and desires, or facing your own shortcomings.

    Showing these feelings becomes easier when you accept and embrace them, and don’t think they’re somehow wrong.

    On the flipside, though, I think a real man can also control (or process) his feelings; not to lose his temper or act immature due to e.g. fear of rejection.

    @Diggy, great post mate! Best I’ve seen from you in a while. More stuff like this, please ;)

    //sami
    .-= Sami Paju´s last blog ..Happiness 101 =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Sami!
      Always a pleasure to read your comments! Tyler Durden is indeed pretty badass! I love Fightclub and I think most of the readers on Upgradereality would agree that it is an awesome movie. :)

  • http://www.aboundlessworld.com Bud Hennekes

    Do I sense another post.. How to be a woman?

    • Diggy

      Maybe I should let a female reader guest post on that topic ;)

  • http://www.reachourdreams.com Jen

    Love Carmen’s idea for a real man training camp! :)
    Interesting post Diggy – I sometimes think it can be hard for men to know how to be these days … society has changed a lot, for eg women no longer want cave men (generally :) )and often want a man in touch with his feelings but who is a real man too! Lots of demands but you have done a great post and I like the section about not putting women on pedestals .. I think that is a good bit of relationship advice for everyone.

    • Diggy

      Hey Jen!
      Glad to hear a response from a female :) Thanks for leaving a comment!

  • http://sanford49.blogspot.com/ Sanford

    An excellent and thought provoking post!
    These are definitely qualities that women seem to look for in men. And that men look for in themselves.
    I would add that in the long term of a relationship gentility, thoughtfulness an the ability to share must come into play. In the long run it is the two who will battle the dragons of life together.

    • Diggy

      Hey Sanford!
      Glad to hear that you enjoyed reading the post! Nice addition there, the ability to share and communicate is very important!

  • Gordie Rogers

    Real men aren’t afraid to show their feelings too. They realize that it takes a lot of guts to express how they are truly feeling.
    .-= Gordie Rogers´s last blog ..10 Ways To Fail Efficiently And Effectively Every Time. =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Gordie!
      Yeah you have a good additional point there. I think it is indeed true that the real man is also in touch with his feelings and not scared of feeling how they do. Neither are they scared to be sensitive.

  • Eduard @ Ideas With A Kick

    Excellent topic man!

    I think that under the influence of the relatively recent expansion of feminism and women’s independence, we men have lost our way for a while. We started to reject our masculine, confident side to embrace a more of a nice guy persona. Which didn’t work by the way. And now we’re redefining ourselves again, in a way which allows us to keep our masculinity, dominance, confidence, yet project it an a nurturing way.

    • Diggy

      Hey Eduard!
      Yeah the real masculine has disappeared. Probably due to the fact that we don’t have to hunt for food or survive in the jungle. Modern society has made it easy for us, a little too easy in the sense of robbing us from our masculinity

  • http://hanshageman.com Hans Hageman

    Schooling really does hurt us in developing the qualities yu mentioned. The jobs that most of us aspire to don’t value these qualities either. Making decisions really takes practice and courage. Military service is a good training ground for any of the things you mentioned. Good post!
    .-= Hans Hageman´s last blog ..Ten Things To Make Yourself A More Useful Man =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Hans!

      Thank you for stopping by:) While I agree that the military would teach discipline I very much feel that it encourages people to learn to just obey commands blindly without questioning them. This may not be true but it is my perception of being in the military.

  • http://www.aboundlessworld.com Bud Hennekes

    Damn dude. I have a lot of work to do. ;)

    In all seriousness I loved the post. Especially the bit on taking responsibility and making decisions. As well as number 4. HELL, I enjoyed all the points.

    Take it easy bro.

    • Diggy

      Heya Bud!
      Haha, thanks for your kind words man, good to hear you enjoyed the post! Peace!