How To Be A Man In The 21st Century

Just because are born with the physical male anatomy and the ability to grow a beard does not mean that you are a man. So what is the definition of a real man?

Being a real man means that you need to know how to start a fire with two sticks, you need to be able to survive in the wild by knowing which plants are edible and you need to know how to kill an antelope with nothing but a knife. Your martial arts skills must be close to perfection and you should be able to kick serious ass…Naaa, I’m just kidding, don’t worry.

While these qualities are rather manly, they are not neccessary in today’s world. Being a man in the 21st century consists of some other qualities. From the day that we are born we are trained and conditioned to follow orders and get in line so that we can follow the same process that everyone else in the world is supposed to go through. Even though it is said and claimed that schools and universities teach us to be independent and think for ourselves, there are only exceptions who manage to become really free and creative thinkers by going to university. Usually these people are already creative and independent by nature and their study process just helped to bring it out of them even more.

The problem with a school is that it is still a system, developed for the majority by a group of people who think their schooling system is the right one for every human being to learn. University becomes a bit more specific and focused, but it is still a system developed by other people for other people. If you realize this fact, then you are able to take action. You can take responsibility for forging your own path and you can use the system to help you and set you free. If you just blindly follow the system (By going to class, studying the material, writing the exams and getting the degree) without being inspired to do anything with what you have learned, you are just another pawn on the chessboard. Use what you have learned and build on it. Use it as a stepping stone on your own mission to success.

How To Be A Man In The 21st Century

1.) Make Decisions

A real man makes decisions. It is either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but it is one of the two. Indecisiveness (as mentioned before) is not a quality of the real man. The attractiveness of making decisions ties in with the next point which is ‘taking responsibility’. A man who makes decisions differentiates himself from the others because he is willing to take risk, trust his own judgement and accept the consquences thereof.

He is not certain if his decision is the right one and if it will lead to the best result, but it is the best decision he can make at the time. The real man knows that not making a decision at all is worse than making the wrong one. If he makes a mistake and he made the wrong choice, he will correct it and learn from his mistake.

2.) Take Responsibility

A real man takes responsibilities for his actions. Whatever the consequences are of his decisions, he deals with them. He looks after his family and his friends. He does what needs to be done without question. He knows that there are certain things that are unpleasant but these things need to be done. There is nobody else who will do these things for him and he could not carry on living his life while neglecting his responsibilities.

3.) Honor, Courage & Integrity

He can be counted on. When he says that he will do something you can be assured that he will move mountains to make good on his promise. For him there is little worse than not keeping his word. He would hate to lost his integrity.

The real man protects his girl and his friends from any danger. He will not hesitate to take on 3 or 5 other guys if they are a threat to his family or beliefs. He is not scared of battle or conflict but will not go out looking for it. Physical confrontations are a last resort but if needs be he will fight till the death and take a bullet for the people he cares about.

4.) Don’t Place Women Or Relationships On A Pedestal Above Yourself

Back in our primitive days, the man was the hunter and protector. He did not take any crap. If he saw a woman he liked and wanted, he would take her. He might even have clubbed her over the head and dragged her back to his cave if she did not go with him willingly. These days most “men” are too scared to even look a gorgeous woman straight in the eyes, let alone approach her and start a conversation.

I think that modern society does not raise us to be real men. As little boys our mothers,educators and the media have a big influence on how we are supposed to grow up, how we must treat women and how we must live our lives. We are taught to always be “nice” to girls, buy them flowers and gifts, and that the best way to get a girl is to obey her every wish. Oh my, could there be a skewer perception?

I’m not saying that the right way to get girls is to be a total jerk to them and to never buy them anything, not at all. Women are amazing creatures and they should be treated with respect. You must strive to be a gentleman but not a gentle man. Women are attracted to real men. Insecurity and undecisiveness are not qualities of real men, but neither is being a jerk. Love, give and care but have boundaries. When you say no because something is against your principles, then the answer is and must remain ‘no’. Women will respect you infinitely because of this, which brings me to my next point. A man’s mission and purpose in his life is the most important thing to him, even more important than his relationship.

5.)A Purpose & Mission In Life

A real man has a mission in life and knows his purpose. Whether it be to create a new empire or to improve the lives of others, the man’s mission is the most important thing in his life. He values his mission more than his relationship (even though he will do everything he can and must to protect the ones he loves.

As an example we can take a dedicated soldier who has a family. One day the soldier is on vacation at home with his family when a catastrophy of some kind happens close to him that threatens to destroy everything he believes in. In this catastrophy he is not oblidged to help yet he is able to and can make a difference. He knows that if he would go to help there is a big risk of him never returning home. His wife knows this too and begs him not to go, yet he has already made up his mind to go and help. He has arrangements in place to make sure his wife and family get the best they can if he were never to return. Although he has the choice to stay with his family and ensure his own survival, he cannot do this. His purpose of fighting for what he believes in is intertwined with his values, honor and integrity. If he ignores this, he is ignoring himself and he could not live with himself. Although his wife does not want him to go, she understands that he has to go. If he would not go, while she would be happy, on some level she would lose respect for him.

The above is just one example of how a man’s mission and purpose is holy to him. It defines who he is and what he lives for. A man may very well have multiple missions throughout his lifetime. As soon as he completes one of his missions or purposes he will soon find another.

6.) Do Not Be Dictated By Fear

A real man is not dictated by his fears. Instead, he faces them and confronts them. He does not run in order to avoid what he is scared of. (I mean this as a generalization. Of course if he sees a big, angry grizzly bear coming towards him he is going to run for his life).

He walks his own path and makes his own decisions even though people constantly tell him what to do and give him advice. He will take everything into consideration but does not value anyone’s opinion higher than his own.

7.) Admit Your Mistakes

A real man is not afraid to admit that he was wrong. As soon as he becomes aware of the fact that he has made a mistake he will openly admit it and apologize. He will not make excuses or try to deny that he was wrong because he knows that there is no shame in making mistakes. He is merely human just like everyone else, but he will learn from his mistakes. That is the difference between the real man and his fellow men.

Final Thoughts

I do not claim to master all the above points and be a perfect real man, yet I work towards that goal constantly. This article is just my own view of the qualities of a real man and how he behaves. I hope that you found some truth in my opinion and that I maybe even inspired you to make some changes to the way you think and the way you are living your life.

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