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The Definitive Guide On Attracting Hot Girls |
NOTE: This post is a guide about how to build attraction with any girl.Building attraction has the same principles for both hot (I prefer the word beautiful) and normal looking girls. It is not a guide to getting a girlfriend because I have not had many girlfriends for a period of more than a few months at a time. I only want to write about what I have experience with and am not too bad at: building attraction with girls. (It’s not conceited, I swear)
I have written this post especially for 90% of the male population to give them a perspective of what it’s like being a girl and how they can be different and really stand out from every other guy when it comes to talking to girls.
Over a year ago I wrote an article This Is What It’s Like Being A Hot Girl. The article was about an experiment I did to show people what it’s like being a gorgeous and beautiful girl and the kind of sleazyness that she has to deal with from guys all the time, whether she is out or just has a profile on a social webstie like Facebook or Myspace.
Today I am expanding on that experiment. This time I have created two profiles of two completely different kinds of girls. One profile has pictures of an absolutely stunning girl with model-type looks. The other profile has pictures of a girl who is on the other end of the spectrum regarding looks and body-type. The interests and rest of the profile was filled in exactly the same for both girls.
I am aware that I’m probably going to get some criticism for judging girls as gorgeous or average. However, just because someone is genetically not as good-looking as someone else does not make them any less of a person.
The purpose of this experiment is to determine if all girls have to deal with the sleazyness from guys or if it is just the more beautiful girls that have that problem. Let’s find out! Here are some of the emails that were sent to both girls’ profiles.
What Girls Have To Put Up With
I know I could almost be your father but still I had to rate you! a perfect beauty=perfect ten! Love your looks! I would love to see even more of you wearing orange... def suits you perfectly! kisses um hi... your pictures are gorgeous ...just wanted to say hi :)... not sure if ive messaged you before... sorry if i have but didnt want to take a chance if i hadnt
wow so very cute :) yumm,
hi hottie!
:)
wow your like off the charts ; 0 nice eyes babe ;)
hey how are u?
do you model
wow u are so sexy!
Hey there, your so damn hottt :)
hey sexy xxxx
Luv your eyes very sexy...kisses (From another girl)
wow so f****** GORGEOUS! DAMN i wanna *** u and *** all over ur beautiful face ;)
hey baby wats good?
God..you are absolutely gorgeous! whats up?
do you wanna cam????
hey..
would you like to msn whit me sometime ?
hello sexy, looking beautiful ;)
hey how are u?
hi babe. i love your pics. you body is fabulous. xoxox (From another girl)
wow! girl you look absolutely incredable. i really hope you message me back. i'd love to chat with you
Observations and Deductions
What I conclude from the two profiles is that all girls have the problem of guys coming on to them in sleazy or sexual ways. Guys are predators, that is the way it goes and it is unlikely to change anytime in the near future I think. The only difference is that beautiful girls get a lot more of it than average-looking girls. As you can see above the average-looking girl only got 3 responses while the beautiful girl got over 70 and counting (I only posted 20 of them here).
From experience and from having spoken to many beautiful girls, I know that many girls actually do not go to public locations such as clubs and bars simply because of the fact that they do not want to deal with every single guy in the club coming on to them. While it may sound really cool to have so much attention, in reality it becomes a nuisance. Just like famous people having to deal with fans and paparazzi every time they go out in public, it is not always the nicest thing to have people want something from you all the time.
How To Build Attraction With Girls
‘How to build attraction with girls’ is actually the wrong question and mindset. I feel that the skill of knowing how to build attraction with girls is more a way of manipulating girls if you only set out how to learn just that. You should rather be interested in knowing how to BE attractive (I’m not talking about looks). Once you focus on becoming an attractive person, you will notice all your interactions with girls will start to go a lot better and a lot more girls will start to show interest in you. You will even get to a point where girls begin to chase YOU instead of the other way around.
The easiest but also the most vague way that I can tell you how to be attractive to girls is to be a man,a real man. Without going into too much psychology, the basic principle of attraction is that the masucline is attracted to the feminine, and the feminine is attracted to the masculine. Harmony, just like yin and yang.
One of the reasons why so many men have difficulties attracting women is that many men are not really masculine. Things like complaining and whining, not taking responsibility, not being driven or ambitious and not having principles and boundaries are what many men do and these things repel women. As soon as you become a man who has integrity, who knows his purpose and is on his mission and who is passionate about life, you will notice that girls become attracted to you without you having to manipulate them or use some sneaky tactics on them to seduce them.
That is the real truth behind attracting beautiful girls. Now let me give you a couple of hints and tips that you can easily use if you want to attract more girls and have more girls in your life.
- Be Diffferent
The average guy pretty much says the same thing to every beautiful girl he speaks to. He compliments her for her beauty or mentions something about her looks and gives her some sort of sexual innuendo, maybe he offers to buy her a drink. If you really want to get the attention of a beautiful girl you need to do things and say things that immediately make you stand out from every other guy or else she will not even think about giving you a minute of her time.
- Be Authentic
While you may think that you need some sort of opening line or magic word to start a conversation with a girl, it is entirely not the case. I have started awesome conversations with girls with the most retarded things that you would not believe in a million years. The truth is, it’s not about what you say, it’s how you say it. The words that come out of your mouth only account for something like 12% of the communication, everything else is in your body language and tonality. I honestly think the best way to start a conversation is to just say “Hey, I’m Diggy” or whatever comes to your mind. Speak from your heart, be yourself.
- Body Language
Like I mentioned in the point above, your body language accounts for the vast majority of your communication and interactions with a girl and is greatly responsible for the attraction that you may or may not build with a girl. Body language consists of everything that you do, from the way you walk, your actions, your confidence, how you stand, how you talk to others, your voice, your tonality. A very important part of body language is EYE CONTACT. When you talk to someone, do you do everything but look the other person in their eyes? The ability to keep strong eye contact is incredibly important when building attraction with girls. Often, just catching a girl’s eyes with yours and keeping eye contact for a few seconds from across the room is enough to build attraction.
- No Expectations
Just like with any interaction with another human being, if you start a conversation with them with the sole intention of getting something from them, they can sense it and the chances are big that they will not like you. Have no expectations of a girl, she does not owe you anything. Instead, give value, share cool stories and make her life better in some way. - There Is No Rejection
Because of the fact that you have read this post and that you now know not to have any expectations when talking to a girl, rejection simply doesn’t exist. You’re not trying to get her approval for anything, you’re merely trying to have a fun conversation and if she is not interested it doesn’t affect you in any way. Never take it personally when a girl doesn’t want to talk to you. She might be married or be having the worst day of her life and just take that out on you. You don’t know that. - Numbers Game
If you talk to enough girls I guarantee you that you will find one who is really attracted to you, no matter how bad you think you are at talking to girls. A few years ago I really sucked at talking to girls I found attractive. I would have to talk to tens of girls before I finally found one who would be interested in me. (haha, I remember those days, very funny thinking about it now). Although now I’m pretty confident that I can find a girl who finds me attractive every time I go out, it is not always the case. I don’t think that anyone will ever be able to get any girl that he talks to. It is unrealistic and you shouldn’t expect that. All you should know is to just keep talking to girls. The more you talk to, the more chance there is that you will find lots of girls who find you attractive. - Most Beautiful Girls Are Not B*tches
Many guys make the assumption that just because a girl is good-looking or will not talk to them that she is a b*tch. This is far from the truth. Although there are some girls who are very egotistical and vain about their looks, most beautiful girls are really sweet and good people. They have just built up defense mechanisms after all those years of having to deal with the sleazy remarks from guys in every public location they visit.
Words of Wisdom
If you do not know how to talk to girls or how to build attraction with girls, I really suggest that you consider most of the things I wrote in this post, and that you just start going out. I don’t think that anybody can teach you how to be good with girls overnight. It’s a matter of doing it and experienceing it, going out a lot, talking to hundreds of girls, and learning from your mistakes.Don’t let your fear of approaching a beautiful girl or your fear of being rejected by her hold you back from actually going to talk to her. If you never even try, the answer will always be ‘no’. Just try not to do what 90% of the guys out there do and you will have a good chance of success already.
I don’t claim to be some Casanova who can get any girl at any time. Far from it. There are plenty of guys who are much better than me with girls, but there are also plenty who are not. All I can say is that I’m pretty happy with myself and I’m still learning and improving myself all the time.
There is no secret or holy grail that will make you successful with girls, no matter how much you can afford to pay for it. Just realize that girls are human beings, so treat them like one. They are attracted to real men and you now know what it means and what it will take to be a real man. You’ve got all the information and knowledge you need to attract the most beautiful women in the world, all you need to do is take action to become your best self and start talking to girls to be able to get better at it.
Either way, I hope that you enjoyed reading this post and at least got a good chuckle out of some of the responses that my two fake profiles got!
P.s. If you want to know the secrets how to get girls from the perspective of a gorgeous girl, make sure you check out Tiffany Taylor’s GuygetsGirl.
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Hey Diggy,
I especially like your last point, about beautiful girls not being bitches. I used to think they were, but after actually interacting with some, I realized the same thing: most of them just put up an initial defense mechanism. If every person of the opposite sex you know hits on you, it’s a natural thing. But once the defense is down, things get interesting
Hey Eduard!
Yeah I had the same thought a few years back, but I just didn’t know or realize what girls had to put up with. The key is being totally unreactive and not wanting anything from the girl you speak to. Give value first and you will find that she will become interested in you .
Fix your title dude. I don’t want people to ignore this awesome post (I’ve seen Diggy’s success in person, on a daily basis) because of your English
.-= Glen Allsopp´s last blog ..How to Really Build Backlinks and Dominate Google =-.
Thanks for pointing that out Glen, sometimes my English it a little retarded
“The Definitive Guide on Attracting Hot Girls”
or
“The Definitive Guide on How You Can Start Attracting Hot Girls”
Adds to the badassery of a title.
.-= Daniel´s last blog ..The Art of Being Minimalist: How to Stop Consuming and Start Living =-.
Thanks Daniel!
Sweet title idea, I used it!
Saw the update.
Great post Diggy, congrats. Especially the rejection thing is a good point. Also I learned from experience that most girls (at least in italy) will reject the first time because they don’t want to look like easy girls.
.-= Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..30 Days Habit Change – Waking up At 5 am Day 4 =-.
Hey Oscar!
Ooh, Italian girls? Nice.
I don’t think that any girl wants to be seen as ‘easy’. A girl’s reputation is very important to her (Is this true girls? ).
Thanks for stopping by!
It’s less of a ‘don’t want to be seen as easy’ and more of a ‘don’t want to be looked down on’ I find… Look at it this way, if a guy gets a lot of girls he’s seen as a stud or man’s man. If a girl gets a lot of guys she’s seen as a slut and/or whore.
None of us especially like those labels, so we tend to want to avoid it as much as possible. Sometimes this extends to rejecting first time on principle, sometimes not.
Interesting post though Diggy, don’t see anything wrong here
Liked the part about ‘not all beautiful girls are bitches’ cause honestly, that assumption wears on you too.
Thanks for this!
Hi Diggy!
As I’ve seen the RSD Blueprint and is constantly trying to change my mindset on a daily basis, I found this as a great summary.
It also shows that you really can relate to what you’re writing, good job
All there is for me to do now is to go out more regularly and push myself. Better get over that indifference threshold
Take care,
Jonas
.-= Jonas Sandström´s last blog ..Communicating clearly and choosing your medium + first video post! =-.
Hey Jonas!
Yeah, I found RSD to be a great resource for getting better with women. However, you can watch loads of videos and read lots of material, the only way you will really get better is by going out and talking to hundreds of girls.
Don’t be scared
Interesting way to break it down Diggy. I might have to setup one of those profiles sometime!
Being authentic is so underrated and can work out many other issues that guys have when talking to women. The only difficulty is telling someone to “be yourself” does nothing for them.
“Hey, I’m ____” is by far the best pickup line ever thought of (okay, that one about shoes is good too). But seriously, these tips hold true both on and offline..
I’d love to see some real life examples. I think they’d help a lot of readers.
.-= Constantin´s last blog ..Make New Friends in Five Seconds Flat =-.
Hey Constantin!
Yeah of course, saying things like “be yourself” or “be a man” doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know how to do that. It took me a long time to figure this stuff out, and I’ve still got a lot to learn about it, but I am happy where I am.
One of the best things you can do is to find someone who knows what they are doing and who are good with girls and become their friend and hang out with them. A mentor will boost your learning curve enormously.
Well I’m no guy (I would hope THAT’S obvious by now haha), so I’ll just hop on and offer some female support!
Awesome point on being an internally attractive person yourself. I think being authentic in and of itself makes you stand out as far as being different, so you kill two birds with one stone. And authenticity often equals confidence, so make that three birds.
IMO, there’s more to using sleazy pick up tactics to get girls. If you use inauthentic and shallow pick up tactics, you’ll just end up attracting a lot girls who are inauthentic and shallow themselves. If that’s right up your alley, by all means… go for it!
Hey Valerie!
I appreciate your female input
I think that having good boundaries and being authentic will not only get you in the good books with girls, but also with the entire world. Business will be better, you will have more friends and more people will respect you. I agree with you that you will attract the smae kind of people as the attitude that you put out.
Diggy,
Interesting ideas here. I ran that same experiment with the online dating profiles and found almost the exact same results. Kind of incredible isn’t it. I bet if 100 guys ran the experiment it would be exactly the same.
I’ve gone through the phases of thinking I sucked at talking to girls and I realized one thing. “I dont’ suck at talking to girls. I suck at being me.” That was a long time ago. But so much of it was internal and really related to all of the points that you have brought up here. GReat post. We need to chat soon and get you interviewed for BlogcastFM.
Hey Srinivas!
Thanks for stopping by! Yeah, crazy to think that this is the way things go right around the world. It is indeed a spiritual and internal journey that you need to go through, it has taken me 3 years to get to where I am, and I feel that I still have a lot further to go. I haven’t even begun to look into meditation and binaural beats to get better control over my brain and my emotions.
It would be great to be in that interview, feel free to contact me any time
Hi Diggy,
I think the first step that many guys need to take is to acknowledge that this is an area of life where they have a problem. And then to understand that there is plenty of help available in the form of books, websites, seminars, DVD’s etc.
A lot of this stuff is also about “inner game” – how to improve your personality and all the other aspects of your life, not just about how to pick up chicks.
It’s not embarrassing to learn about how to generate attraction, but many guys think that way. Personally, I overcame it when I realized that learning about these things will benefit the woman as well: I become more aware about how she thinks and behaves, I know how to react to her, and in the end I am able to be a better man in a relationship.
//sami
.-= Sami Paju´s last blog ..Managing stress… and sucking at it! =-.
Hey Sami!
Yeah I have a lot of resources too, but I refrained from posting that here. If people are really interested in knowing more they can always send me an email and I’ll be happy to elaborate. I know that you went through a similar journey, so good for you that you are making progress in your life!
Thanks for the comment!
Beauty lies within. I dont take sites seriously and if a guy acts like he is interested in me someway sometimes it is a welcome compliment but Im happily married.
.-= BunnygotBlog´s last blog ..Children Learn By Example and Mimicking MTV =-.
Hey Bunny!
Thanks for sharing your view
I agree with you that beauty lies on the inside, I would not want a gorgeous-looking girl who has an icky personality and who is a bad person.
For me looks do matter to an extent. It has to be a combination of a great personality and good to great looks, thats what I look for in my girls.
Have an awesome day!!
+1 on “I suck at being me” from Srini.
When I met my current girlfriend (Ingela), I literally went up to her and asked her if she liked orange juice.
Be who you are. Some people will think you’re crazy, some will think you’re funny and some will think you’re interesting. You never know.
.-= Henri Junttila´s last blog ..A Bizarre Meeting with a Messenger of God (With a Dash of Whiskey) =-.
Hey Henri!
Yeah so true man, most girls that I have dated and gotten along with very well are girls where I went up to them with totally no expectation of getting them.
It was just me being myself and having fun
Is it just me or the girl on the left kind of has a lot of makeup on? Maybe I’m just used to seeing girls in the East as they don’t wear a lot of makeup. Great post though Diggy.
At first I thought this was going to be a seduction guide on manipulating women with certain routine, pickup lines. But it ended up being about developing inner core personality that naturally attracts women.
I especially agree with tip #4 as I, too, used to expect something from a conversations with women. But when you learn to let go with no expectations, the interaction because a lot more fun and engaging. You come off more attractive too (I’m thinking like how George Clooney does it).
I met my current girlfriend on a bus and asked her for directions. Like Henri’s response from above, we just talked about nothing and made something out of it. Thank you for this.
.-= Hulbert´s last blog ..Jay Leno and Nice =-.
Heya Hulbert!
Yeah in that picture she does have a lot of makeup on, but I think that she would still be equally beautiful without it. Like you say, I don’t believe in using sneaky methods, it’s much better to just become an attractive person with inner value.
Most girls that I really had a good time with are girls that I met when I had no direct intention of getting her. I would see that they were gorgeous, but I didn’t think “What should I say so that I can get her to be with me”.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hey Diggy,
I can’t resist reading this article after seeing the title of the post haha.
It is a great article and I believe that the fear of rejection is something that we need to overcome if we really want to talk to girls that we like.
I also love the point that you had mentioned, “I don’t think that anyone will ever be able to get any girl that he talks to. It is unrealistic and you shouldn’t expect that.
This is the mindset that we need to have! Thinking that we need to succeed with a single chance put unnecessary stress on ourselves which will lead to a higher rate of failure.
Thanks for the great article.
Cheers,
Vincent
.-= Vincent´s last blog ..Warning: Are You Spending Too Much Time With Time Vampires And Wasting Your Time Away? =-.
Heya Vincent!
Haha, happy to hear that I seduced you into reading my article
Just be cool, be yourself and get out there and do your thing. The more girls you talk to the better you will get!
Diggy!
Killer dude! I have to agree
completely with all your points
on here man.
A very mature outlook on women
that can only be gained through
plenty, plenty, trial and error
(as we’ve all had ey..LOL)
It’s the same as trying to learn anything in life. Try fail, repeat
until…success.
The only difference is that most
guys never do this because of the following:
A: They don’t know about getting over the ‘hump’ of approach anxiety.
B: Their sex life (or lack thereof)
is a deep cause of egoic stress so
they’re too scared to experiment with
it.
And…
C: They read too many books on the
topic = info overload.
Us men in general don’t like to experiment with:
A: Money
B: Women
Why? Because we feel they’re too ‘important’.
Bollocks!
Stop reading, get out there, say hi
to a few lovely ladies and make it
fun.
That is all.
PS: Oh, and you never stop learning.
Ever…LOL
[Great stuff Diggy. Just thought I'd add my 2 cents. Sorry I've been so quiet on here. Just got my internets hooked up
proper so it's ON!]
Hey Wilding!!
Thanks for stopping by!
I hope things are going good for you in Thailand! Enjoying it so far?
Yeah, it’s a matter of experience. Reading helps to an extent, but you need to experience all the different interactions and you need to become comfortable in your own skin.
Oh I ooooooo have to add something else here too before its slips my mind:
1. Are you a guy that values a girls’looks more than her personality?
2. Do you factor both about the same?
3. Or do you value her character, intelligence, value and personality
as the most important thing?
Ask yourself this question, it’s important. Why do I say this?
There’s no right or wrong but it is somewhat of a blueprint for the kind of girls you’re gonna attract (I’ll let you figure out how that works for yourself).
Having trouble? Think about your friends and the kinds of relationships and people they attract, the consequences of this and what their general mindset is related to the above).
Hmmmm…
Nice work here Diggy. I think you are dead on. Authenticity is key and will attract the real deal. If you are fake with a huge ego you’ll attract the same. I think the biggest thing holding most guys back is fear factor. Fear of getting rejected. Your point about having no expectations is spot on. A girl can tell from a mile away what a guy is really going after. We know guys are somewhat predators and see right through any bullshit. Don’t play games unless you want a torrent thrown back. Girls can be quiet manipulative themselves so be sure to treat others how you would like to be treated….haha. That’s my two sense…great work Diggy!
Hey Amber !
Thanks for stopping by! I agree with you that girls can be very manipulative
It’s all part of the game, but the best advice like you say is that you should treat others how you want to be treated!
So dude I just tried to visit your blog, but I instead typed in http://www.diggy.com
Love the overall message you have here man. Very in depth. It’s shame that some people so shallow sometimes.
I especially like number 7. Far too often we get caught up in labeling them in that group when in reality they can be super nice.
Take it easy bro.
Heya Bud!
Haha, I wish that domain was available, I would SO get it!!
Yeah, I have been and still am guilty of labeling people too fast without knowing what they are about, I try not to do that, looks and first impressions can be very deceiving!
And buy her ice cream
.-= Jonny | thelifething.com´s last blog ..Why Do You Blog? =-.
let me know if you are ever in London diggy, i could use a wingman like you!
Haha, sure, will do Alex!
Excellent post. Great high level detail for anyone who hasnt come across this stuff before. Guys, this is really solid information, dont let it pass you by. Get out there and try some of it out!
Nice post diggy. I have writtten similar post on my blog but yours definitely provides a good and exhaustive coverage. I think it works for not only for hot girls but for normal girls too
yes everyone has an inherent need to get attracted and there is no reason to seperate hot girtls from sweet, cool and good looking girls.
Thanks!!!