When Your Dreams Become Reality, Don’t Sabotage Them

live your dreams





Have you ever found yourself in the situation when you dreams came true? (or at least they came true for a very short amount of time until you sabotaged them to return to the hope of the dream?).

I am talking about something that you have been wanting to happen for a very long time or even for as long as you remember. Maybe it is your dream car and you finally get a Porsche, or it is a high-paying position at the top of a firm that you finally get promoted to, or it is an incredibly beautiful girl who you have always wanted and you finally get your chance with her.

“As soon as your dreams become reality, they are no longer dreams”

Sometimes we are more in love with the idea or the dream of something than when we actually get it.Sometimes we will actually sabotage our own actions to prevent ourselves from turning our dreams into reality because that would mean that we no longer have a dream to hold on to or look forward to. Once the dream becomes reality, the safe illusion of a perfect life is then at risk to be destroyed or ruined.

I am pretty sure that many people have the same dreams or ideas as the ones I am about to describe.These are my own dreams that I used to have (and some of them I still have) and how my perspectives of them have changed. When I was little I would see people on TV, rockstars or actors, and I would want to be like them, to have their fame and money and success. It just seemed like something desireable to become, after all, who wouldn’t want millions of people in the world to look up to them and ‘worship’ them? I also had visions of being filthy rich, living in mansions with private jets and massive sports car collections. Dropping hundreds of thousands of dollars on ridiculous luxury things.

Even though I wanted all those things, I was very much content with the dream and I didn’t really consider it a reality or possibility. The problem with not thinking of your dreams as a reality (and that they could come true at some point) is that when your dreams do come true, you are very likely going to sabotage them and throw them down the drain only to return to your normal life and shrugging it off. “It was just a dream anyways and it was never possible”, you think to yourself.

I have had it happen myself and I have seen it happen to many people. They get the chance to have and live their dreams but they blow it, simply because they did not consider their dreams to be part of their reality and that they did not feel that they deserved to live their dreams. Looking back on the few times when I had amazing chances that I sabotaged, I feel slight regret but not much. The reason for this is that my previous sabotages of my own dreams have led me to understand myself better and to develop my mind in such a way that I will no longer sabotage my own success. This means that when my current hard work pays off and my dreams once again become reality, that I will be in a much better position to live them.




Consider Your Dreams A Possibility




“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

The reason why I wrote this article is to get you thinking about what you are working towards your whole life? That dream, that thing that you think is your final goal, is it really what you want?

What will you do with it when you get it?

Will you realize after ten, twenty or 50 years, when you finally turned your dream into a reality, that your dream does not make you happy and it is not what you thought it would be? When you have 10 million dollars, or the most beautiful girl in the world, or that you have achieved fame and starred in five oscar-nominated movies, do you think that it will make you happy? Will it make your problems disappear and will life be all rosey?

I think that it is wrong to want something because you think it will make you happier once you get it. Want something because you really want it and you are passionate about it. Happiness is right now, life is right now. It is not reserved for some day far away once you have X (replace X with money, fame, success etc).



Self-Sabotage


self sabotage





It seems stupid that we are scared of succeeding, yet it is true for so many of us. The possibility that our dreams will no longer exist once they become reality can be so scary that unconsciously we will sabotage ourselves or our actions once we get close to realizing our dreams.

You can get a really good understanding of WHY we sabotage ourselves from the book ‘Linchpin’ by Seth Godin. He explains that our brains actually consist of two brains. One one brain is referred to as the ‘lizzard’ brain and is one that has been with us for tens of thousands of years. It is responsible for our safety and our fight-or-flight response. The other brain is one that has only been around for the last few thousand years since we evolutionized and were able to think rationally and logically, referred to as the ‘cognitive’ brain.

The ‘lizzard’ brain wants saftey and comfort. It hates change, because change brings uncertainty and uncertainty is dangerous (in primitive times, unknown terrain was full of potential life-threatening creatures and plants). The ‘lizzard’ brain has been with us for so many generations that it is really hard-wired and rooted into our way of thinking and it is more powerful than the ‘cognitive’ brain.It has more “say” in decisions and it almost always over-rules the ‘cognitive’ brain (in other words, instinct and emotions naturally over-rule logic).

This is why you chicken out of something you really want. This is why you do not go and talk to that beautiful girl or why you do not quit your job to do what you love. The ‘lizzard’ brain always fights to keep you safe and comfortable (but as we all know, comfort does not encourage growth). Even though rationally and logically (cognitive brain) you know that it makes the most sense to leap forward into the unknown, the ‘lizzard’ brain will do everything it can to stop you from making those decisions and tries to overrule (and usually succeeds) the logical thoughts.

This may sound a bit complex and confusing, so let me give you a practical example:

Quitting your dead-end job. Say you have had the same job for the last 5 years, there is no room for promotion and chances are you will do the same stupid tasks for the next 50 years if you stay in that job. You search online and find all sorts of books and motivational courses on how people quit their jobs to build up their own empires, and who are now free from the 9-5 slavery. It is possible for you to do this, but you will have to make some sacrifices to save up for a computer and internet access, and due to circumstances you will have to quit your current job to be able to make the transition to start your own projects. While the possibility of succeeding online is very real, and you will be far better off than you would ever be with your current job, it is risky. Your current job is terrible, but it provides enough for you to live off and you know exactly what you need to do.

Your ‘lizzard’ brain will come up with all sorts of excuses and fears to prevent you from quitting your job and risking the uncertainty of failing, being without money or a job and ending up worse-off than you are currently. Yet, in order to be successful, you have to take this leap. Many people are too scared to leave the comfortable (but inferior) conditions to achieve their goals and dreams, and they will let life pass them by.



Living Your Dreams


“This is the day you have been waiting on for so long, it is the day when your dreams are finally within reach. You have worked so hard and have finally turned your dreams into reality. You can live in the way that you have dreamt about for so long.

Luckily you have thought about this day, and decided that when it came around and became your reality, that you would make the transition of leaving the idea of the dream behind and start to live the dream instead. You feel like you are good enough to live your dream, you have deserved it and you will cherish every moment that you have the chance to live it.”

This is the kind of attitude that will allow you to live your dreams once you have made them into reality without sabotaging them and returning to a normal life where all you have is the dream that will never materialize. I have personally had many negative and self-destructive thoughts and beliefs over the past years that I am only now beginning to change and eliminate. There is no reason why I consciously want to sabotage my own success or my dreams, and I do not want my own sub-conscious to do it either.

I don’t like to write about things that I have little experience with or things that I have little knowledge about. However, I want to make an exception and mention EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I have known about it for some time now, but have only recently started to seriously study and apply it. I can already feel a massive positive difference in my thinking.

EFT is a method to remove ALL negative emotions from your thinking. You can say that it is in a way a form of meditation. It works on the principles of energy flow in the body and the meridians of the body. This knowledge of the flow of energy in the body has been around for thousands of years in the East, and is applied in Eastern healing techniques like accupuncture. EFT states that ANY negative emotion is a disruption in the energy flow of a meridian, and the method works on resetting the entire body’s energy system to remove the disruption.I have always been skeptical about these things, but visit their site (www.emofree.com), download the basic manual for free and try it for yourself. (It is not an affiliate link).



Parting Words



Remember, it is very possible that your dreams will become reality. Especially if you work hard and are passionate about them. When they finally become reality, live your dreams and do not sabotage them only to return to the illusion and hope of a dream.



self improvement


Photo Credit




binaural beats

  • http://twitter.com/afriendlycow77 Darren Curtis

    Everything great about this post/blog/article ect, but missing a part about having nightmare. Nightmares are warning signs to Sabotage or change a situation that is about to go bad or not in your favor. And if you don’t Sabotage it or change it, you will regert it later in life and will suffer painful emotions for a very very long time and had to learn a lesson not necessarily needed to be learn. Nightmares, when given in your sleep are saying to you; “Hey, this is going to happen to you and you need to stop it or Sabotage it form happen or you will suffer for not taking any action apond it and will regert it if ignored.” Think about that hard and deep.

  • http://twitter.com/afriendlycow77 Darren Curtis

    Everything great about this post/blog/article ect, but missing a part about having nightmare. Nightmares are warning signs to Sabotage or change a situation that is about to go bad or not in your favor. And if you don’t Sabotage it or change it, you will regert it later in life and will suffer painful emotions for a very very long time and had to learn a lesson not necessarily needed to be learn. Nightmares, when given in your sleep are saying to you; “Hey, this is going to happen to you and you need to stop it or Sabotage it form happen or you will suffer for not taking any action apond it and will regert it if ignored.” Think about that hard and deep.

  • David Bruesch

    Thanks for the positive reinforcement!!

  • Melanie

    I’m so glad I stumbled upon this article. Hearing your ideas on this subject really reinforces the notion that I must remain aware and awake during the process of reaching my goals/dreams. Thanks Diggy.

  • Tina

    Hi Diggy,

    Your article was very good. I am also like those persons who chicken out once we feel our dream is gonna turn into a reality, but after reading your article I will not. I am gonna do what I always wanted to do, no matter what.

    • Diggy

      Hey Tina!

      Thank you! I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed the article! I like the positive mindset you have!

      Keep well!

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  • Imran Mohamed

    Really amazing. It’s like a broken wing of a bird found new wings to fly. I agree with you, dreams do come true..:)

  • nish

    I couldn’t agree with you more. Good job with the article.

    • Diggy

      Sweet, thank you Nish!

  • http://www.hypnosis-self-help.com Sherri Frost

    The Marianne Williamson quote is one of my all time favorites. Though I think that people either dream too big so that it is impossible to attain OR they really have no dreams at all. They simply don’t know what it is that they really passionately want.
    .-= Sherri Frost´s last blog ..Hypnosis Workshop – Immense Value =-.

  • http://www.worldofselfimprovement.com Sam

    I totally agree with you with regards to how sometimes fearing success can be more intense than fearing failure.

    It can be scary not knowing what something is like, and also like you say, there is also that element of worrying that the reality will not be as good as the dream.

    Thanks for the article.

    Sam

    • Diggy

      Hey Sam,
      Thanks for stopping by! Welcome to Upgradereality!
      Have a great weekend!

  • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

    very nice post Diggy, its really inspiring. yes i guess lots of people dream about things yet dread to do them the lizard brain is one of the strongest factors involved in their fears

    • Diggy

      Hey Farouk!
      Thanks for stopping by, glad you enjoyed the article!

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  • http://theboldlife.com Tess The Bold Life

    Hi I came over to see your new design. I love it…Oh yeah fear of greatness. I am great but sometimes it’s too much to own. I say that seriously not arrogantly.

    • Diggy

      Heya Tess!
      Thanks for stopping by and the compliment, I like the design too! :)
      It is good to be confident and possibly even to set your goals too high. Aim for the stars and reach the treetops.

  • http://itarsenal.com Robert

    Nice post, I like the turn your dream into reality process…it’s fueling, and the self-sabotaging warning is well merited!
    .-= Robert´s last blog ..Watch This and Get Free Support! =-.

    • Diggy

      Thanks Robert!

  • Jonny

    What if you dream of becoming a women? Nah, I’m kidding…seriously. I don’t have the hair for it.
    .-= Jonny

    • Diggy

      You leave very unique comments Jonny… :P

  • http://daringclarity.com Lana – {Daring Clarity}

    ahh, the fear of greatness, comfort zone, self-sabotage – my favorite topics:) Great post Diggy, thank you!

    • Diggy

      Hey Lana!
      Welcome to UpgradeReality :)
      I had a look at your site, seems like you will do well if you keep going! Best of luck!Thank you for stopping by!

  • Carmen

    Nice post Diggy. As a coach I’ve been working for years helping people turn their “dreams” into realities. Interestingly, people change their dreams consistently as they move towards them and learn more intimately what their dream is all about. As you said, when you were young you thought you’d like to be a rock star. As you got older, I imagine you realized there might be a lot about being a rock star that in reality wasn’t all that appealing. I find this a lot with people I work with as well – so what I find fascinating is to try to decipher what it is about a particular dream that the person REALLY wants. For instance, if you say you want to be a rock star – what is it about that? Having people admire you? What’s that about? Getting attention or feeling powerful? When we get down to the core of the dream impulse then a person is freer to pursue the heart of the dream in any variety of ways. Maybe by being a blogger?!
    .-= Carmen´s last blog ..Bordering on Madness – Getting Across Borders as a Location Independent Professional =-.

  • http://sidsavara.com Sid Savara

    Hey Diggy,

    I recently read Linchpin as well – great book! I think the lizard brain discussion is perfect in this post.

    I think you’re right – some people are more in love with the idea of the dream than actually having their dream. I think it becomes a bit of an excuse – they say they won’t be happy until they have X, like you said, but if you gave them X, odds are they still wouldn’t be happy – and would probably return to where they were.

    I remember reading an interesting article where they noted that within a few years, lottery winners return to wherever they were before they won the lottery – if they were broke before, they blow all the money and end up broke again. I think it’s similar with dreams – if people aren’t prepared to live their dreams once they get them, then even if they win their “dream lottery” – they’ll just go back to the way they were
    .-= Sid Savara´s last blog ..7 Common Procrastination Excuses =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Sid!
      Thanks for the awesome comment! Yeah, it’s always a postponement of happiness. Like, “I don’t need to be happy now, I will be happy once I am making $10k a month” or whatever the excuse is we give ourselves. The only time to be happy is now, and I have learned to apply that (although it is not always so easy).

      I read an article about a whole bunch of lottery winners, some who had won close to $100 million and lost it all. They claimed the money made them unhappy because everyone wanted to be their friend and leech off their wealth. I think it is retarded and they just felt they did not deserve that amount of money and that is why their subconscious led them to actions that caused them to lose all their winnings.

  • http://experimentsinpassiveincome.com Moon Hussain

    Diggy,

    I’m mostly a lurker but had to drop you a line and tell you that this is a fantastic post that really relates to me.

    I’m currently on the fence about my job and I have some serious decisions to make this month.

    Keep up the fantastic work!
    .-= Moon Hussain´s last blog ..My Three Pronged Approach To Creating My First Niche Website =-.

    • Diggy

      Heya Moon!
      Thank you for coming out of the shadows to say Hello :) I appreciate it. Glad to hear that you are enjoying the articles! Good luck with your decision, if you want to talk about something you can email me anytime!

  • Srinivas Rao

    Hey Diggy,

    It’s pretty amazing that we’d want to sabotage ourselves when we finally reach the success that we’ve been after for so long. Part of it is that we are comfortable with where we were at. WE’re often addicted the journey and being a victim. I have a friend who says when you are not succeeding in some are of your life, it’s because you get some benefit out of it. Strange to think of it that way huh? Fortunately, we are becoming more and more self-evolved and that will likely create less self sabotage. Great post.

    • Diggy

      Hey Srinivas!

      It is strange that is is so hard-wired into us to self-sabotage our success. Some people do not have this at all and these are probably the people that rise to the top of the world. Self limiting beliefs and the idea of not deserving what you consciously want are massive weights on our shoulders holding us back from reaching our true potential!

  • Positively Present

    Really great post, Diggy! I think a lot of people really do sabotage their dreams once they become a reality and this post is a great reminder not to do so!
    .-= Positively Present´s last blog ..the wright way to succeed =-.

    • Diggy

      Super Dani!
      Glad you liked it, I think that self-sabotage is one of the biggest obstacles to overcome when aiming to achieve your goals and dreams and make a success out of your mission!

  • http://dannycooper.org Danny Cooper

    Hey Diggy,

    This post has really hit home with me. In many areas of my life I hugely undervalue what I have and grossly overvalue what I want.

    This seems to be a universal trait throughout my career, relationships and possessions. I guess what I need to work on is being happy what I have, I just don’t know where to start!
    .-= Danny Cooper´s last blog ..charity =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Danny!
      That is a nice way of putting it, but it is good that you realize this because now you can work on making it better. I find it to be a long process, but it requires some thinking and self-reflection to really understand what it is you want and what will make you happy.

  • Hans Hageman

    Nice article. I second your mention of EFT. I have been using it for years. It is a powerful somatic therapy that is an elegant way of helping us get more aware of the importance of energy. I’ve taught it to a number of teens who were “stuck” for various reasons.

    • Diggy

      Hey hans!
      Thanks for stopping by! I am kind of disappointed that I did not discover EFT when I was much younger but I am happy that I have found it now. It is really amazing!

  • anita sereno

    ay dont spik ingles sorri may friend good like for you kisssssssssssssss

    • Diggy

      Hehe Anita, are you a secret admirer?
      I hope you understand all the things that I write :)

  • http://diazan.com Andrés

    That’s a great entry, Diggy!

    About dreams I learnt two reasons for many people to be afraid of:

    1. The expectations toward the dream is so big that it comes with fear it will be less spectacular when one arrives there.
    2. The dream itself is so big people think they are not good enough or have to be realistic.

    My favourite book about dreams is “The Alchemist” of Paulo Coelho. It’s not only the journey of the Shepherd Santiago but also the setbacks he suffers, sometimes thinking about giving up. The Alchemist also tells the truth about following your own path and listening to your heart, a mustread in my opinion.

    I love your quote by M. Williamson. It tells us we are capable of achieving anything. To change our stars and live a better life.

    Keep on dreamin’

    Andrés

    • Diggy

      Hey Andres!
      Thanks for stopping by! I agree with you that The Alchemist is an absolutely amazing book about dreams and about life, I recommend it to anyone who asks me for a good book to read!

  • Ben Weston

    Hey Diggy,

    I like how you challenged most people’s assumptions of dreams. I’ve found that many people will have a dream/desire on the conscious level, but on the subconscious level, there are many beliefs that are simply holding them back from those dreams.

    I have found EFT to be a wonderful resource as well as the one’s Kim mentioned.

    Similar to what Oscar said, I sometimes question whether the attainment of the dream is what we really want. I think what we really want is the joy or excitement that we think we’ll get from it. Then again, we don’t have to wait for those dreams in order to feel joyful now!

    • Diggy

      Hey Ben!

      Glad to hear you also know about and use EFT!
      Yeah I agree, sometimes the dream is just that, a dream. We like the thought of it and enjoy the fantasy, but many times we do not really desire the dream to become reality. it’s strange how that works.

  • Kim

    Hi Diggy,

    Your post is fascinating.

    I have not read Linchpin yet, but from the response Seth has received, I will put it on my list of books to read.

    Seth was probably referencing the primitive area of mind where fight/flight kicks in to protect us from discomfort or unknowns.

    I have studied the workings of the subconscious mind. We learn through identification and association and store our experiences at the subconscious level — our life script is kept here. These experiences are positive, negative, good and bad — and we filter information using our critical area of mind where we accept or reject happenings based on our life experience. This is why we can sabotage our selves. If we have a negative association to an event — for example, being ridiculed for public speaking as a child — the mind will have a negative association to public speaking and reject being comfortable doing so despite conscious reasoning.

    I have found working on issues at the subconscious level has been most effective with people. A few examples:

    - journaling (an ideomotor activity that may be conscious, but neurologically effective — with practice and consistency).
    - self-hypnosis / hypnosis
    - visualization

    What it comes down to is Belief. Belief in your dreams. If as you mentioned someone thinks, “It was just a dream anyways and it was never possible”, that is what you will receive from the Universe.

    Just Believe :)

    • Diggy

      Hey Kim!

      Thank you :)

      Ooh, I really recommend it! It’s a fantastic book and it has really changed my thinking! I agree that our experiences as a child have a big influence over our likes and dislikes when we are older. That is why it is so important for a child to be in a caring and loving environment up until the age of at least 7 years old (the critical age) when the child is rather incapable of making it’s own decisions.

      However, and it’s taken me long to realize this, it is possible to reprogram any negative belief or bad experience that you have had in your life. Any fears that you have had for years are able to be removed from your psyche. EFT is a fantastic way to do that!

      Law of attraction indeed ;)
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your view!
      Have an awesome day!!

  • Steven Ponec

    Thank you for ending this post with a Porsche. It really cemented the point. :)
    Great article too! I love reading articles about achieving dreams. They are inspiring and keep reminding me to keep going, because action is the best thing we can do.
    I used to only read and take no action. Now, I’m full of action in endeavors that matter to me.
    Keep up the great blogging sith lord (I only say that because of your twitter picture haha)

    • Diggy

      Heya Steven!
      Thank you!! It’s a pretty car, I like it in white :)

      Haha, glad that my picture reminds you of Star Wars! Keep on working hard and working towards that which you want (but first determine if what you think you want is really what you want)

  • Oscar – freestyle mind

    What a great article Diggy! I think this has to do with our human nature, we are always aiming for more. But it’s when you enjoy what you already have that you are really happy.
    .-= Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..5 Unique Ways to Sell Yourself =-.

    • Diggy

      Hey Oscar!

      Thank you! It is a great skill to be content with what you have. Mostly you only realize what you have when it is gone.

  • http://www.reachourdreams.com Jen

    Great post Diggy. I have been thinking about this topic for the last few days actually. I achieved something great recently (some work that has been my dream for a long time) but noticed how unexcited I was when I got there. I am genuinely happy but did exactly what you describe here. Over it now and celebrating! :)

    • Diggy

      Hey Jen!
      Aw, sorry to hear that you weren’t as excited, do you think you know why?

      • http://www.reachourdreams.com Jen

        I think I was just not being grateful to be honest! I’ve also had a lot of changes with work recently so it seemed like one more change, although it wasn’t … it was a big change! Just needed a refocus. :)

  • http://jasonpmcgee.com Jason P McGee

    I think that part of the reason we may sabotage ourselves is because of the journey it took to get to where we wanted to be. We may have had to do things that we did not want to do in order to reach our goals. These compromises may have tainted the feeling we had when we found our way to the top and thus changed our vision of the dream we thought we wanted.

    • Diggy

      Heya Jason!
      Thanks for stopping by!

      That is an interesting addition. I agree with you. Maybe the success you achieve comes at a price that you did not think you would have to pay (bad health, nasty conflicts, broken relationships etc) and that price has taken away from the feelings we thought we would have once we reached our dreams.