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Social Networking Revealed – The Secrets They Never Taught You At School |
Very often success is 100 times easier to achieve by having the right connections.
While you may think that great talent and ingenious ideas will automatically spread like fire in a bamboo village, that is not always the case. Often a single recommendation from someone very influential can do more for you or your idea than months or years of self-promotion and trying to achieve success.
While the term ‘networking’ sounds rather technical and like a lot of effort, here is a fun and simple way to describe it:
Networking is all about making friends and staying in touch with them.
Networking Awesomely
My friend Colin Wright (from Exilelifestyle.com) has just released a really, incredibly fantastic guide called Networking Awesomely. It is about building relationships and making friends in order to make your entire life (from business to dating to happiness) a success, filled with fun, joy and happiness.
Networking Awesomely consists of 250 pages of amazing content, is beautifully designed, well put-together and is super detailed and easy to follow. If you are wondering how much it costs, Networking Awesomely is yours for just $20.
I’m honestly not here to write a sales pitch about Colin’s new eBook . I will not think any more or any less of you if you buy Networking Awesomely or if you do not buy it!
Since I was lucky enough to contribute 2 pages to his eBook, Colin sent me a free copy that I really enjoyed reading. He has done such an excellent job in communicating the concept of networking and how to go about it, that Colin’s eBook inspired me to write this post and share some secrets and details about networking. Why? Well, read the rest of the article to discover the secrets and benefits about it.
No Networking = Missing Out
If you are not where you want to be in certain areas of your life (or all areas of your life), then you may need to think about your networking if you are doing any at all.
The very first sentence of this article was:
“Very often success is 100 times easier to achieve by having the right connections.”
- In every aspect of life there is someone who is among the best of the best that the world has to offer.
- In every business niche or industry there is someone at the top who has incredible power and influence.
- In every social circle there is someone who has to power to introduce you to others or even set you up with dates, parties and social events.
Just by being friends or on a first-name basis with people high-up in the industry that you are trying to succeed in, you can make leaps of progress that could take you months longer to achieve if you didn’t know them.
You may think “I am too shy to talk to strangers” or “I’m not good at making new friends”.
These are common fears that the majority of people face. Personally I think that many people make the whole concept of networking much more difficult for themselves by thinking that it is a chore or an effort. Making new friends and building a network can be as simple as inviting someone to join you for an activity that you are going to do anyways like grabbing sushi at your favorite restaurant. You will feel comfortable because you know the restaurant, you enjoy the food and you give the other person the opportunity to experience something new or different which in turn creates a bond between you and them.
What Is Networking?
By now you should have a rather good idea what ‘networking’ means.
My definition of networking is building friendships with people, sharing experiences with them and giving value. The more value you give and the more opportunities you can provide for people to have new and good experiences, the more friendships you will build.
Are you wondering, “But how will it help me if I have 202 friends from all different walks of life?”.
Well…I think the answer to that is fairly obvious. Friendships are mutually beneficial relationships – in other words, friendships help both people grow. If that is not the case, it is not really a friendship. Friends share ideas, help out with each others problems, encourage each other to believe in their ideas and constantly provide positive emotional energy without needing or asking for anything in return.
The process of reciprocity usually plays a very natural role in friendships. Reciprocity just means that if I do something for you without asking for anything in return, you will want to do something for me when you have the opportunity or when it looks like I need it.
So…when you ‘network’ and build up many friendships with people from all walks of life, you literally have all those friends who are willing to help you out and succeed.
Beware…Network With Good Intentions
I may have planted a seed in your mind that turns your eyes into $ signs just like in cartoons. But… like Spiderman said, “With great power comes great responsibility”.
When building friendships in order to network, I would always encourage everyone to set out with good intentions. By good intentions I mean always try to give value to the other person.
Never set out to build a friendship only for your personal gain. If you are needy or greedy and you just want to take value from someone, not only will they pick up on it quickly and not want to associate with you, it could also earn you a very bad reputation.
Who would you rather hang out with or go for dinner with?
- Someone who doesn’t offer to pay or drive or organise the get-together…
OR - Someone who makes an effort to hang out with you and who always does their fair share or more, without expecting anything in return.
I think most people would opt for ‘someone’ number 2. The value provider and a real friend instead of ‘someone’ number 1 who is just there to leech value for personal gain.
Ideas For Successful Networking
Hopefully by now you understand the concept of networking (building friendships) and you understand how beneficial it can be (both for you and the person you make friends with). Here are some good ways that you can go about finding people (that will help you on your journey to success) to build friendships with:
- Think Like Them
If you are looking to meet more people in a certain industry, try to think like them. Where would they hang out and what would they do in their spare time? Once you narrow that down, you can start to hang out in the locations where they hang out, introduce yourself and over time build up friendships with them. - Be A Man/Woman of Stories
Nothing is more boring than having an interview style conversation with someone you just met. “What do you do? Where are you from? How old are you? etc.”On the other hand, nothing is more interesting than someone who tells intriguing stories and shares cool experiences (it helps if the stories are believable and if you don’t use them to brag about yourself). So instead of asking someone boring questions, rather share appropriate stories. From there the conversation will flow a lot more and you will find that the other person will also share their personal stories and opinions, which leads to getting to know each other better. Bonding.
- Have Confidence But Not Arrogance
As you probably already know, confidence is attractive and appealing while arrogance is a major turn-off. People will notice the bold and the daring but if perceived as arrogant, people will not respect the bold and the daring. The combination of being humble and having the confidence to do what most people fear is a very powerful one that will lead to being able to have many friendships with people from all walks of life.
How’s Your Networking?
Soooo…
Have you been networking? If not, then starting to build a network may be a great benefit to you, your financial situation, your romantic life or your social life. Remember, networking is not about conning people to use them for your own benefit, networking is just about building friendships with people.
The next time you go out, even if it’s in a supermarket, shopping centre or football game, take a few minutes to start a conversation with a total stranger. Maybe even invite them out for a drink or a dinner, who knows what good things may come from it!
P.S. If you are interested in learning more about networking and how to do it easily and effectively, I suggest you have a look Colin Wright’s ‘Networking Awesomely’.
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First off, I want to say that Networking Awesomely is well.. awesome. I’m almost done reading it and I’ve learned a ton of good stuff so far. So if anyone reading this doesn’t have it yet, get that thing!
You made a lot of good points here, Diggy. The thing about networking that has really stood out to me recently is that it is simply making friends. I’d always pictured “networking” as business cards and things of that nature. When you take away that aspect, and view it as simply making friends, it takes away a lot of the pressure and nervousness. Everyone loves making new friends!
Hey Nate!
Thanks! Colin’s book IS really awesome, I literally read it start to finish on the day that I got it.
Making friends is a really cool way to build networks with all kinds of people. Just see it as having fun and a lot of the time it just involves doing what you normally do what you have free time. Dinner, drinks, movies, parties etc.
Have a great weekend!
Hi Diggy
If you want to understand the theory behind social networks then try reading the works of Peter Gloor from MIT.
He specializes in analyzing collaborative innovation networks (CoINs). His book Coolhunting covers the application and analysis of COINs while his other book Swarm Creativity is a bit more theoretical focusing on how social networks & COINs follow the same pattern/model as a swarm of bees.
Cheers, R
Hey Rod!
Thanks for that suggestion. It sounds rather technical and I’ve never heard of it but I’ll keep the book in mind when I go book-shopping again
Diggy,
I just wanted to add one thing to this. I Think the fundamental key to really getting the most out of networking is to give more than you get with no expectation of anything in return. That has been a very valuable lesson for me over the last several months.
Hey Srinivas!
Yes of course, you are totally right. Doing something and expecting something in return puts a pressure on the relationship that people can pick up. The best way with friendships is to just give because you care about the other person and if they don’t return the favor its perfectly ok.
Fantastic that we finally got around to doing the interview:)
Have a great weekend!!
Diggy,
I’ve been reading Colin’s stuff lately (and his video on networking), and I’m oh so close to just buying it. Colin’s a great guy, and his other ebooks were great, so I figure I might just spend the $20 and buy it from him.
More on-topic: your point about having stories is so key. I’ve found that, in just general socializing, it’s always WAY more fun (and that’s why it’s great to network naturally – I call it ‘making friends’) if you have some cool stories up your sleeve. And if you don’t have cool stories… You can always go out and make some by trying new things and getting some more experiences under your belt.
Heya Brett!
If you’re sitting on the fence and wondering whether you should buy the ebook, I say Yes. I personally loved it and read it start to finish the same day I got it. Beautiful design, funny pictures and a whole lot of great and helpful advice on networking.
You said it right, the best way to get stories is to experience lots of things. The more adventures and more cool things you try, the more stories you will have to tell others. People love hearing stories, especially if they are true!
Cheers!
I’m going to Buy me a copy today. Networking is the way of the world. It is about what we know, but who we know can help us out tremendously.
Hey Jonathan!
Cool. I really think you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. Let me know!
I read a nice, beautiful point somewhere recently that social capital is the ultimate prize in this world, and key to happiness, and it replaces the dream of financial capital that people used to seek.
Hey JD!
Yeah totally! Someone who is rich socially can have a much better life than someone who is a millionaire but has no friends and is spiritually poor.
Thanks for stopping by!
Yep, networking is sooo much fun if you decide to build genuine relationships. Giving value and supporting your people is the Alpha and the Omega, and if you give because you can (and want), Karma can smile at you.
PS. I bought Colin’s book – it’s freaking awesome, I’m almost on page 257.
Hey Mars!
Thanks for stopping by! I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying Colin’s ebook, I think it’s totally awesome too!
Have a great weekend!
Hey Diggy,
Networking is important. The old saying never goes wrong, “It is not what you know, it is about who you know.”
Cheers,
Vincent
Hey Vincent!
Thanks! How are you doing?
For a while there during my frequent trips to Headquarters of my company, I was the networking queen. I knew more people there than local employees who lived in the same office (and same coast). I read every business book (with blog reviews on all) from Ferrazzi’s “Never Eat Alone” and attended seminars and constantly networked. I was exhausted but the result was interesting. Mixed I would say since my purpose and intention changed and I pursued other interests outside those networks but never did I think of it as a poor use of my time. It is actually very tricky and challenging to network and come across sincere and not pushy….Remember to do favors before you ever need any in return. Give, give, give without expectations. Build trust. And be sincere in all your interactions. People will LIKE you and you will be surprised how easy it will be for you to establish those hard-to-get connections once you have established that much
!
I’m not against “give without expectations” but it’s clear that it’s about giving only for people who appreciate the “giving without expectations” and not the kind who’s goal is to use others
Hey Farnoosh!
Thank you for your first comment here on Upgradereality! Glad to get to know you and to be able to share ideas!
Here in Bulgaria (like i other countries actually) networking and connections are a big deal. In my German class I learnt that that in Germany they call this Vitamin B – (Beziehungen a.k.a connections).
A really interesting read is the book Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.
Good stuff, D-man!,
Y.
Hey Yavor!
Thanks for stopping by and the book recommendation! Always appreciated!
Have a great week ahead!