If you find yourself waking up every day for months on end thinking that your life sucks, then take 10 minutes to read this post very carefully because it might just completely transform you and help you create a better life.
I decided to write this post because I found myself in that situation for many years. It started off pretty mildly but gradually got worse and worse without me realizing it.
At first I only had negative feelings about life or my own abilities when something would go wrong in my life, which wasn’t very often. As I started to experience more setbacks, I started becoming more negative. It eventually got to a point where for weeks on end I would wake up in the morning thinking that my life sucks, that I’m a loser and I’ll never be happy. I was pretty miserable and just not fun to be around, constantly sucking energy from other people. In other words, I’d lost sight of the fun, happy and good person I really was and turned into a shadow of my best self.
Creating A Better Life For Yourself
Negative feelings and thoughts tend to sneak up on you and attach themselves to you. By the time you realize it, a lot of damage can have been done and a lot of days, weeks or months may have passed.
So what can you do if you find yourself thinking that your life sucks or that you hate your life?
Is it possible to create a better life for yourself?
Step #1 To A Better Life – See Yourself In Another Light
“Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes. He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.” – George Gurdjieff
The first step to creating a better life is to see yourself as others see you, because sometimes you can just lose sight of the forest through the trees.
Imagine that you can move out of your body and see yourself from a distance. You can see yourself move, you can hear yourself talk and you can watch how you behave from a distance, in the same way as another person would see you.
It’s like zooming out of your life, taking a step back and seeing it from a ‘larger picture’ perspective. This will help you see your problems in a different light, and it will help you see how you are acting.
The reason why this is so important in the formula of creating a better life is because the way you think and act might just be responsible for your current life situation (or at least contribute to it). If this is the case, the sooner you see that your behaviour needs adjustment, the sooner you will be able to make positive change in your life.
For example: Let’s say you want success and hate your life because you are broke for many years already.
You may hate your life and complain about being broke, and the result is that you’re terribly unhappy. But if you zoom out on your situation, you’ll maybe see that you’re not making any effort to change. You’re working one job and sit at home for the rest of the day watching TV.
Can you see what’s wrong with the picture here?
If you really want to complain about life, you should at least be working 2 jobs and hustling in your free time and then still be broke before you earn the right to complain. And I guarantee that you won’t be broke if you double your work and make a little on the side too.
Step #2 To A Better Life – Change Your Attitude
“Life will knock you to your knees and keep you there… if you let it.” – Rocky Balboa
The second step to creating a better life is to continuously make the choice to take control of your situation instead of adopting a victim mentality.
In ANY situation you have the choice to either be passive about it (to whine and complain about how life isn’t fair etc.) or to do whatever you can to change your situation. If you want a better life you need to make the conscious choice to forget about having a victim mentality. Stop complaining about your situation, stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. Your life is as it is and if you want change, you have to do something to bring about that change.
I really like the movie Rocky Balboa. Hidden in the story about boxing, the movie contains a great message about life.
Life has a way of throwing difficult things at you. These are continuous jabs and punches from life. If you have your guard up you can block and dodge a lot of these punches without taking much damage (i.e. overcome problems and obstacles). However, it’s inevitable that life’s punches will sometimes get through your defense and do some serious damage. Life may even throw in some unexpected hook and knock you out or knock you down to the ground. Your success depends on whether you stay down on the ground and accept your defeat, or whether you pick yourself up again and get back in the ring to fight.
Instead of seeing obstacles and problems in your life as a handicap, rather see them as a test. They are there to make you stronger, not to keep you back from what you’re doing. BUT… your attitude towards your life and towards yourself make all the difference.
Step #3 To A Better Life – Set Goals and Be Flexible
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee
The third step to creating a better life is a combination of two things:
1- You have to set the goals you wish to achieve in order to create your better life. You cannot get what you want if you don’t know what it is that you want. You need to know exactly what you need to do and achieve before you can have the life that will make you happy.
Once you have set your goals, you’re able to focus all your energy and creativity on achieving those goals, thus greatly increasing the chance that you’ll bring about the change in your life that you desire.
2- You have to let go of expectations. If you attach a lot of value to a certain future outcome, you are setting yourself up for disappointment if that future outcome doesn’t happen how and when you want it to.And as you may already know, very few things in life go exactly as planned. You have your goals and you should do your best to achieve those goals but you must be flexible to adapt to whatever life throws your way.
Creating a better life is much easier if you are able to adjust your plan or strategy when necessary (or even if you have to take a completely different approach). If you’re inflexible you’re going to find it very difficult to bring about the change you want when life throws a proverbial spanner in the works.
Step #4 To A Better Life – Take It Day By Day
“You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out and say ‘I’m gonna build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that has ever been built’. You say ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid’. You do this every single day, and soon you have a wall.” – Will Smith
There are many sayings that emphasize this step in the process of creating a better life like,”Rome wasn’t built in a day” and “the journey of a thousand miles beings with a single step“. It’s crucial that you don’t excessively focus your thoughts on achieving your end-goal. You may be very far from achieving the change you want in your life and that huge gap between where you are now and where you want to be will serve as a huge mental block if you focus on it.
Rather be aware of your end goal and know what you need to do to get there eventually. Then just focus your energy and efforts on taking action towards that end goal every day, and only concentrate on doing what you need to do that day. Do it as best as you can, and be willing to do it for as long as you need to do it to achieve your success. Take things one day at a time and you’ll achieve your goals without losing hope or motivation as quickly as you would if you only focus on the end-goal.
Step #5 To A Better Life – Stay Positive
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Sir Winston Churchill
The fifth step in creating a better life is to stay positive. Don’t allow yourself to think or say anything negative. Not about yourself, about life or about others.
I’ve done a lot of reading and research about the Law of Attraction and other universal laws and it’s become very clear to me that the way in which you think has a huge influence on the opportunities and situations that manifest in your life (both negative and positive situations). Negative thinking sends negative energy into the universe and results in negative situations manifesting in your life. Vice verse, positive thinking sends positive energy into the universe and often results in good situations manifesting in your life. (However, positive thinking on its own is not enough but this is something I will discuss in another post about the Law of Attraction).
Staying positive doesn’t mean that you need to lie to yourself or give yourself false hope by saying that everything will be okay when it’s clearly not the case, but instead of focusing on the negative, find that tiny little positive aspect of whatever bad is happening and concentrate on that.
No matter how bad something is, there is always a tiny bit of good that can come from it. If you cannot change the situation you’re facing, the best you can do is see it in a positive light. If a relationship ends, it’s a chance for a better one to form. If you lose your job, it’s a chance to find something better or start your own business. If you fail at something, you’re one step closer to achieving success. And so on and so forth.
Step #6 To A Better Life – Forgive Yourself
“Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind.” -Buddha
The sixth and final step in creating a better life is to forgive yourself for your past mistakes.
We are all human and this means we make mistakes. Some people make more mistakes than others, and some mistakes are more serious than others but it’s inevitable that you’re going to make mistakes throughout your life.
If you’re very hard on yourself and mentally beat yourself up or hate yourself for things that you’ve messed up or done wrong, you’re placing a huge burden on yourself. This burden can subconsciously sabotage any success that you want to achieve because you may feel that you deserve to be punished for your mistakes and thus live a life of suffering or unhappiness.
Learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, learn from those mistakes and then you’ll be free to move on and bring about the chance that you desire for a better life to take the place of your current one.
This is the formula to creating a better life that I personally follow. I recommend that you refer back to this from time to time because it’s easy to lose sight of of your own mistakes in attitude and behaviour and go down a wrong path that leads to unhappiness, depression and suffering.
I KNOW that it’s possible to completely change your life to one that you really enjoy living and to transform yourself into the person who you want to be. I’m walking, talking, living proof of that because I’ve completely transformed my life and myself over the last 7 years.
It’s taken me long (and cost me literally tens of thousands of dollars on education, books, seminars, videos and programs) to create a better life for myself, the life I want to be living, where I’m free physically, emotionally and financially. Many of the things that I spent time and effort on to change my life were a complete waste and were totally ineffective in hindsight, but there were also a few absolute grandslam homeruns amongst all those things I’ve tried.
if you’re thinking that it’s going to take you 7 years to get a better life, stop stressing out. It could indeed take you this long, but it’s also very possible that it will take you far less time to see change and results in your life. If you let me help you.
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