10 Golden Rules For Being A True Friend

true friends

A good friend will visit you in hospital and say “Get well soon ” and leave. But a true friend sits near you and says “The nurse is hot, take your time to get well.”. 

1-Honesty

A true friend is always honest no matter what.

It is your duty to tell the truth, even when you know that the truth may hurt and possibly even cost you your friendship (which it won’t if you follow the other 9 rules below).

Never take something without permission, even if you know that your friend will be okay with it. Just ask for permission first.

2-Reliability

A true friend is someone you can rely on.

When you make a promise you will always honor it, and when you know you won’t be able to stick to your promise it’s best to be honest and tell your friend that you can’t keep to the promise.

If you say that you’ll do something or be somewhere at a certain date and time, then be there no matter what.

3-Respect

A true friend respects time, property and beliefs.

  • Time is respected by not wasting it. Be punctual for appointments and let your friend know if you’ll be late or can’t make it at all.
  • Property is respected by not damaging it. Treat other people’s belongings with care and love.
  • Beliefs are respected by not judging. If you know that your friend has certain beliefs and morals, respect them, even if you don’t agree with them.

4- Bros Before Hoes

Please excuse the expression but I found it very fitting.

Choosing bros before hoes means that you don’t choose a girl or a boy over your friend. Don’t cancel your plans with your friend or let your friend down just because you want to be with someone you’re interested in.

If the guy or girl you are interested in is really special to you, you can always ask your friend first and they’ll likely understand. But a true friend doesn’t drop you to be with someone else.

5-Selfless

A true friend will sacrifice their own comfort or happiness and put you first.
They are selfless and would not do something for financial or material gain if they knew that it would have a negative effect on your life.

6-Loyalty

A true friend you will stand up for you when you need it. Also when you don’t ask them to.

A true friend is not for sale and will never do anything that will compromise your success or happiness.

7-Patience

A true friend is patient with you. They are understanding when things need time to change or get better and won’t judge you even when you make the same mistake over and over. As long as you’re making the effort to get better.

8- Laugh Together Cry Together

A true friend is not a fair-weather friend. They are there for  you in good times and in bad times. A true friend also shares their own success with you when they achieve it.

9-Constructive Criticism

A true friend is not scared to tell you what you’re doing wrong . They’re not scared to seriously intervene if they see that something is seriously bad for you or if you’re going down the wrong path.But they always support their criticism with advice that can help you improve.

Don’t just say “You’re going to go bankrupt with your new business plan”. Tell them why you think their new business plan will fail. E.g. “You’re putting all your money into something that is not real, or there is an expiry date on the products you’re buying and I don’t think you’ll be able to sell even 10% of what you’re buying”.

10- Forgiveness

A true friend has the ability to forgive. Everyone is human and we all make mistakes at times. We may even break one or more of these golden rules of being a true friend, but if you realize that you messed up and you really show that you’re sorry and try to make things right, a true friend will be able to forgive you. (Just don’t mess up in the same way again because there is a limit to forgiveness).

  • Citizen for justice

    A true friend will NEVER, EVER ask you to do something illegal. If you’re in a circumstance where a “friend” has asked you to help get them out of trouble by doing something that will get you in trouble with your parents or the law, they are NOT a friend. You need to bail and call your parents or the police the FIRST opportunity that you get. If you don’t, it can and will change the whole course of your life.

  • Citizen for justice

    A true friend will NEVER, EVER ask you to do something illegal. If you’re in a circumstance where a “friend” has asked you to help get them out of trouble by doing something that will get you in trouble with your parents or the law, they are NOT a friend. You need to bail and call your parents or the police the FIRST opportunity that you get. If you don’t, it can and will change the whole course of your life.

  • hayley

    Thank you for the rules,

    and know i got two new bestfrieand.

    one is Vishmi and the other one is Adrina

    thank you so much.

    from:Marianne Hayleyangel Devita

  • Louise Lindsay

    I have to say the majority of this is bull faeces.

    1-Honesty
    Rubbish. A real friend knows when to be honest and when the time is right for some good olde white lying. Your bestie seeing someone you think is a total arsebucket?
    Save the truth for when they break up. Your BFF got passed over for a promotion
    at work? Now is probably not the best time to tell them you know for a fact they’re
    a slacker, often take 2 hours for their lunch ‘hour’ and get far too drunk at
    work nights out. Use your better judgement people.
    Also one of the best things about having real friends is the borrowing of each other’s possessions. You don’t need to ask because you know they won’t mind and probably have half the things you can’t seem to find when you need them anyway.

    2-Reliability
    This, in my option, is true in part. I agree with the whole keep your promises thing. But the great thing about my true friends is they know I’m going to be late to absolutely everything. So much so that most of the time they tell me events start a good hour before they actually do, so there’s a better chance I may actually be on
    time. They know me well enough to accept my flaws and just get on with it.

    3-Respect
    Some of the best nights of my life have been spend with my friends wasting gratuitous amounts of time. If you can’t rip on your mates without them being grievously offended then you need new mates.
    And I’d like to think that if I accidently broke something I “borrowed” from a friend they would understand that these things happen, accept my most sincere apologies and a replacement model. If you’re breaking your friends’ possessions on purpose you should be reading different internet articles.
    Questioning beliefs and morals is a wonderful thing. It starts thought provoking
    conversations and allows us to see a point of view that possibly would never have occurred to us before. As long as you accept that your friend may never agree with you, and don’t get personal, you don’t have a problem.

    4-Bros Before Hoes
    I have real issues with this point.
    Picture the scene… I’m on a night out with a friend. It’s relatively early on in the festivities. This wasn’t supposed to be a perving session, rather a boys night out to our local cattle herding establishment/club. My bro starts chatting up a nice looking girl. She’s somehow temporarily taken leave of her senses and wants to go home with said bro. He looks at me for approval. “If she’s over 18”, I say jovially. Do I have a problem with this? Of course not! He’s my best friend. I don’t feel let down. On the contrary I am proud as punch! I am annoyed that he has better luck than me? Certainly I am, but that’s what tequila slammers are for.
    I will say, choose your moments. I wouldn’t condone blowing off (nudge nudge, wink wink) your mates birthday celebrations for a first date. Or getting all up in a hottie’s
    shizzlefizzle at your soon-to-be godson’s christening. I am saying; it’s, mostly, perfectly acceptable to put hoes before bros. And hopefully your friend will understand and allow you to return the favour one day.

    5-Selfless(ness)
    If you’ve ever lived with a friend you’ll know that they will regularly do things that make you feel uncomfortable and unhappy without releasing it. Examples: using your laptop to look at unsavoury things on the internet, having extremely loud sex the only day you have a lie in opportunity, putting spoons in the fork drawer, etc. It’s just life and can be applied to almost any situation. They don’t know they’re being a bad friend. You probably annoy the falafel out of them too.

    6-Loyalty
    Ok. This one is fine. You may have a few black eyes that you think were unnecessary and few more enemies than needed but that’s what you’re there for; to back up your drunk friend when they get into a fight over nothing.

    7-Patience
    A true friend is impatient with you. How else would anyone get anything done? They are less than understanding when things need time to change or get better, and this
    is a good thing because it speeds up the process. They will judge you and point
    out that you make the same mistakes over and over again. But they love you
    anyway and will stand by your side as you make a complete wanker of yourself.
    Time in, time out.

    8-Laugh Together Cry Together
    Again I agree with some of this. A true friend will be with you good times and bad.
    However, don’t worry if you don’t share in your friend’s success and are
    secretly very jealous and annoyed with them and their good fortune. This is
    human. They need never know (see Honesty).

    9-Constructive Criticism
    Sometimes we need mollycoddled and to be told that everything is going to be ok. This is what Mums’ are for. Other times we need a good, sharp, verbal slap in the face. Don’t just say “There’s a small chance that she’ll get pregnant/give you gonorrhoea, but statistically you’ll probably be ok”. Tell them straight. “Dude, wrap your sweeties. You really want your junk to turn green and fall off? No. Plus, kids are the worst STDs of all.”

    10-Forgiveness
    What happened to the “a true friend is patient” sentiment, even “when you make the same mistakes over and over”? Don’t bang their missus/crash their car into their living room while intoxicated/blame the awful smell you made on them. But a real friend won’t sweat the small things. We all make mistakes but your true friends won’t think of them as mistakes, rather awesome ways to embarrass you while paying ‘I Never’ at parties.

    In conclusion…
    A wise person once told me that fake friends say “Oh no, you’ve had far too much to
    drink. You’re just making a fool of yourself. I think it’s time to go home.”, but a real friend says “Drink up bitch, we don’t waste.”

  • http://www.upgradereality.com Diggy

    Fantastic. I was reminded on the weekend that a true friend is one who tells you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear. A true friend is a great thing.

  • Imey Paradella

    thanks for realizing me what are true friends :)

  • http://www.upgradereality.com Diggy

    Hmm interesting perspective. Because I speak 2 languages, one I learned fairly late, I know that different countries have different understandings of what friendship is. So this also highlights that friendship does change through time too and between different peer groups. I would say be yourself but be open to the possibility you might meet a true friend one day even if it is only for a day.
    Ramon

  • Nasir

    Well said. Real and tough but possible.

    • http://www.upgradereality.com Diggy

      Thank you!

  • Khughes

    This girl in my class named gabby says she is my friend but she is never honest to me and this boy that I hate she told him that I was in love with him then the boy that I am in love with she tells him secrets about me that r embarrassing so I need to know if she is a true friend or not

    • http://www.upgradereality.com Diggy

      Doesn’t sound like it…

  • Cindy Elhalloufi

    I like number 1 and number 10. Read them all.

    • http://www.upgradereality.com Diggy

      Thanks Cindy!

  • Michailm

    Thank you this helped me out alot

  • Aliza_kiki

    Hello, I am having a few friendship problems… my friend and i used to have a very strong relationship, then this girl stole her away from me, and now my friend and i are not talking :(

    • http://www.upgradereality.com Diggy

      Sorry to hear. Call him up and see if you can work things out. If you’re really friends, then you can overcome the obstacles.

  • http://upgradereality.com sandy

    i know its hard going through some thing like that. But once you think about it the friend your talking about is not a true friend. I’m a kid and I’m doing through it now! But once i start school again I’m going to tell her sorry this happened but our friend ship isn’t healthy and I’m going to tell her my feelings. Maybe that what you should do to.

  • Tracey

    I too as I have gotten older feel the desire to have a more substantial connection with someone I choose to call my friend. I do not use the word friend lightly. I have MANY acquaintances but very few ‘friends’ and the reason is #3 (Respect).

    Being married also throws into the mix a dynamic that needs to be addressed. Being married does not prevent either spouse from having separate friends; in reality it is good to have separate friends. I do NOT find it respectful however to have a spouses friend text multiple times a day only to whine/complain or vent about their own problems and issues, NEVER asking how the friend’s spouse or family is doing. Regardless of what is going on in their own life, it is only common courtesy (at least in my book) to ask how the family is doing unless they really do not care and that makes them anything but a friend.

    Now I may be completely off my rocker in my last paragraph but if you are going to be a friend with someone and they happen to be married, at least try and pretend to give a rats A** about their family even if you don’t!

  • Donna Smaldone

    Love this, DIggy! I love how it applies to friendships, including your very first friend (yet the one we all too often neglect)… ourself! I’m a newbie blogger and would love your thoughts and input on one of my recent blog posts entitled, “The golden rule and self-love and why that shouldn’t find you in shackles” here: http://bit.ly/qUIg3M (I think in particular, you’ll get a kick out of the nun’s interpretation of the “do unto others” parable).

    • Diggy – UpgradeReality.com

      Hi Donna!
      Thanks for your kind comment, happy to hear you enjoyed the article:)

      Yeah I like it a lot. It’s kind of like seeing the glass ‘half-empty’ or ‘half-full’. It’s exactly the same, but it’s a totally different attitude towards it.
      Thanks for sharing and good luck with your blogging hobby, I think you’ll enjoy it just as much as I am (still love writing on my blog after 2 years).

  • http://www.schoolselekt.com Elina

    I liked the 8th point “laugh and cry together”. This is the passion of being real real friend :)

  • http://www.mylifestylemax.com Stacey Herbert

    Hey diggy…bros before hoes….hmm…I get where your coming from, but this is the sort of female reference that some of your female audience may find offensive…it definitely made me wince.

    Loved this qoute though “A good friend will visit you in hospital and say “Get well soon ” and leave. But a true friend sits near you and says “The nurse is hot, take your time to get well.”

    I recently wrote a really honest post about the loss of my best friend which started a really incredible discussion. What was really insightful was to get the male perspective on it. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

    1/3/8 are my personal favourites, and something I always look for in any relationship

    • Diggy

      Hi Stacey,
      it’s not a sexist thing at all, and it applies to guys as well as girls. A girl shouldn’t ditch her girlfriends for a guy, and a guy shouldn’t ditch his guy friends for a girl.

      How is your blog coming along? :)

  • http://www.2knowmyself.com farouk

    that was a neat post Diggy
    i can also see you are developing a strong presence in the personal development world
    keep it up :)

    • Diggy

      Hi Farouk,
      Long time buddy! How is life on your side?

      Thank you! :) I’m making progress slowly but surely and I’m still enjoying writing articles.
      I’m going on a bit of a guest post spree this month to get some more readers.

      Hows business and 2knowmyself?

  • http://SourcesOfInsight.com J.D. Meier

    Constructive criticism is a gem.

    I once read that the most important people in your life are the ones that help you make the most of what you’ve got. Sometimes that’s tough love.

    • Diggy

      Hi JD!
      How are you doing Sir? I hope life is good!

      Sometimes you do indeed need your friends to tell you what you’re doing wrong, because it’s easy to get started down the wrong path. Often others can see this far quicker than you see it yourself, so a lot of damage can be prevented if your friends shake you up a little when you slack off.

  • http://www.mindofallan.com Allan

    Can’t really pick one from the other. All of these are indeed essential to being a true and good friend!

    I had a fallout with a old buddy of mine over some girl a few months ago, it was silly really. He broke off contact and toke her side. I was honestly disappointed and pissed.

    A few days ago he contacts me again and apologized. I obviously started to think that he wasn’t really loyal or a true friend. However that didn’t stop me being that for him. So I forgave him and we’re cool.

    But he’s probably not the friend I’ll be running to for help :P

    • Diggy

      Hey Allan,
      Nice of you to forgive him. I know that the friendship is probably tainted, but maybe he really did learn and could end up being the best friend you’ll ever have. Who knows.

      Give him time to regain your trust and you might be surprised. I always like to look at the good of people and give them a chance.
      Thanks for stopping by, I hope you’re well :)

  • Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2

    In reference to the “bros before hoes” rule, this one is a death trap for many people.

    If we’re honest, we’ve all gone through that stage of falling off the face of the planet because we’ve met someone new and are getting our special buttons pushed that only this type of relationship can push.

    Where friends mess up is when they violate your third rule and they start judging you for something that’s pretty much inevitable and something they’ve done themselves in the past.

    Yeah there’s a difference between being an a-hole and telling someone you’re gonna do something and then not doing it and going through a phase where you’re twitterpated.

    What most people never consider is that the feeling generated in a relationship can only come from this dynamic. There’s parent love, there’s pet love, there’s friend love, but there’s nothing like the polarity rich love you get from your feminine or masculine lover. Nothing. None of those other loves are a substitute.

    Most people don’t realize this though and can’t be compassionate. Instead they act on their hurt feelings and pout or lash out because they aren’t getting their way. Believe me, I’ve done this and had it done to me so I know from experience.

    On the flip side, most people can’t just be honest and say, “You know what, I’m doing the twitterpated thing right now and I’ve still got love for you and I’m still in the heat of this and because I’m gonna be missing in action for a while I wanted take a quick moment to thank you for being a great friend to me and I hope you understand.”

    And there’s even times when a friend can come to you and say from a place of getting this “Twitterpated” state that you need to give this thing some space so you don’t burn it out or seem all needy. But if this a friend’s default response so they can look like they have your best intent in mind, you can’t trust it.

    You know what you can believe? You going to a friend you trust and saying this girl makes me feel amazing and hearing what feedback they give you. You’ll never see your own eye. You can see a reflection of it but it will never see itself. You can’t see you own crap. So if this friend of yours tells you “Yeah, you’re right man, you’re lit up ever since you’ve met this girl. I wish you the best!!! Keep it hot!” you can believe this and if he tells you, “Who you BSing? You’re a train wreck since you met this girl!” and they can point out how you’ve turned into a loser, you can believe that too.

    The important thing though is that this person is a REAL friend whom you trust.

    Rant done! Love the guidelines! Thanks for making me ponder this ultra important topic!

    • Diggy

      Hi Lewis,
      Wow, cool comment man, thanks!

      I totally agree with what you’ve said. I’ve had some times where I turned down a party or night out with the guys to be with a girl, but I’d never do it for something really important like a birthday or emergency. Friendship comes before any girl. I only think it’s different when the girl is your girlfriend or wife, or maybe even if you just have one last shot to get her and it’s now or never. In that situation I’d still rather explain everything to my friend, and because he’s my friend he’ll understand and let me go for the girl. (Because I would do the same for him).

      But yeah, you need to experience a couple of these situations and learn from it before you actually understand what it is that you want, and how important your friends really are to you.

    • tom

      shit what a comment.

      that was perfect.

  • http://www.Mazzastick.com Justin | Mazzastick

    I have found that as I get older the quality of my friendships has improved. With age comes wisdom as the saying goes.

    • Diggy

      Hey Justin,

      I’ve also discovered that. With age comes wisdom indeed. I think it also has to do with the fact that as you get older, you become more certain of what you want in life, and you can align yourself more with certain principles and morals. This allows you to connect with others who have similar principles and morals, and you can create a stronger bond with them compared to when you’re younger and not really sure of what you want.